Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to ask if you could transfer me to a different department as I have been serving in Data management sector for almost two years now.

During this tenure, I have been able to plan, record and communicate efficiently regarding the data collection of the company which helped the company a lot. I also have been able to build a stong team that manages and excutes tasks effectively.

Now, I wish to work in social media handling sector where I will be able to manage tasks regarding product sales and advertise about different company's products. Moreover, recently I have completed my diploma in marketing which will add significance benefits to the company's sales. I have also worked on my leadership and project management skills which will be useful for the department.

I have developed a good bond with the management staff and my colleagues over this period so I wish to stay in this company as long as it is possible. My annual performance report has also been satisfactory.

I look forward to your prompt response regarding this request.

Kind regards,

Arzoo

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, covering what you have learned, how the company would benefit, and why you wish to stay. Your current experience in the data management sector is clearly stated, and you successfully mention your diploma in marketing as a benefit to sales. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed. For instance, explaining the exact benefit to the company is a bit general when you mention that your marketing diploma will add significance benefits, without detailing how your specific analytical background combined with marketing could drive new campaigns. To reach a higher level, you should extend these supporting points with more specific workplace details or examples, ensuring every bullet point is explored with equal depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your letter demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from your past experience to your future aspirations. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate each prompt requirement, such as discussing your current role, your proposed new department, and your reasons for staying in the company. Cohesive devices are employed, including words like 'During this tenure', 'Moreover', and 'over this period', though referencing and transitions can occasionally feel a bit mechanical. To achieve a more sophisticated flow characteristic of higher bands, you could make your cohesive links more varied and naturally integrated, ensuring smoother logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs without relying on formulaic connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common items such as 'tenure', 'communicate efficiently', and 'diploma in marketing'. However, there are some noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and word form. For example, you wrote 'stong' instead of 'strong', 'excutes' instead of 'executes', and 'advertise about different company's products' where 'advertise' is used incorrectly as a verb taking a preposition or needing a noun object like 'advertise different company products' or 'advertise various products'. Additionally, the phrase 'significance benefits' contains a grammatical word-form error ('significant benefits'). To reach the next level, you need a wider control of less common lexical items with fewer slip-ups in spelling and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You successfully use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating clauses with 'as', 'where', and 'which'. There is good control over basic verb tenses, such as the present perfect ('I have been serving', 'I have completed'). However, some grammatical errors occur, such as missing articles ('in Data management sector' instead of 'in the Data management sector') and prepositional patterns ('advertise about'). These errors do not impede communication, and your meaning remains clear throughout. To move further up, you should aim for a higher proportion of error-free complex sentences, demonstrating finer control over articles, prepositions within grammatical structures, and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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