Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I hope this letter finds you well.

I am writing this to ask you for my movement from Prior-Authorization department to Denial Management department.

I have been in Prior-Authorization process since when I joined the organisation. I believe that I have learnt alot in these 2 years, I am handling crucial cases and getting authorizations within TAT.

Now, I feel that I should be moved in Denial Management department as I gained relevent experience to debate with insurance representative and get claims reprocess. My current success rate is 99.20 which is leading at 1st position in entire Prior-Authorization batch. If you move me in Denial Management team, I will apply my communication skill to collect revenue by reducing denials.

This movement will be benificial for my career. I have an offer from another orgnaization for the same role. However, I don't want to leave this job as the employees here are much too supportive. I joined here as a fresher and got to learn things that I never thought of. So, I will prefer to be here by switching the department for my betterment.

I am looking forward to your response.

Kind regards,

Owais

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You successfully address all parts of the task by stating what you have learned in your present job, suggesting how the company would benefit from moving you, and explaining why you do not wish to leave. Your response sits comfortably at this level because while all requirements are covered, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, your explanation of what you have learned and your current success rate is detailed, but the suggestion regarding the company's benefit is somewhat focused solely on your personal metrics rather than broader departmental advantages. To reach the next level, you need to extend and fully develop all your supporting ideas with greater depth and clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your letter has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression of ideas from your current role to your future goals and loyalty to the company. Paragraphs are used sufficiently to separate distinct points, such as your achievements and your reasons for staying. However, cohesion is sometimes slightly mechanical or repetitive, particularly in how you transition between sentences and manage referencing. For example, phrases like 'This movement' are used effectively, but smoother linking words and more varied cohesive devices would create a more seamless flow. To improve further, ensure that every transition feels entirely natural and that referencing across sentences is consistently clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to your professional background, such as 'Prior-Authorization', 'Denial Management', and 'TAT'. However, there are some word-choice errors and spelling mistakes that prevent you from achieving a higher band, such as 'movement' instead of 'transfer', 'relevent' instead of 'relevant', 'benificial' instead of 'beneficial', and 'orgnaization' instead of 'organization'. These lexical slips do not impede communication, but achieving a higher score requires greater precision in spelling and collocations, as well as a wider, more flexible control of less common vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms to convey your message, which allows you to express your ideas adequately. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout your letter, such as missing articles ('moved in Denial Management department' instead of 'moved to the Denial Management department'), preposition errors ('moved in' instead of 'moved to'), and punctuation issues with numbers ('99.20'). Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear. To move up to the next band, you should aim for a higher frequency of error-free sentences while maintaining a good variety of complex structures and precise grammatical patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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