Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to express my request for moving to the sales department in our company.

Firstly, I would like to mention that I have gained a hands-on experience while working in this company. Since I have been working here for two years in marketing department, I got several opportunity to learn about different things. For instance, how to overcome the fear of public speaking, how to make better content for the social media, and how to get more views on the oploading content.

I believe the experience I have gained in the marketing department, I can use it in the sales department, which will help me do upselling. Additionally, I have completed an online course about sales and marketing few days ago, which helped me a lot to understand the local market a lot as I worked with real clients for my assignments.

The reason I do not want to leave this company is because I believe my expertize will help this company to grow more in the future. Moreover, I do not need to find a new position to the other companies as it requires a lot of time.

Therefore, I would appreciate your support.

Yours faithfully,

Jasmin Akter

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt, covering what has been learned in the present job, suggesting company benefits, and explaining why the writer does not wish to leave. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. However, some bullet points are more fully developed than others. For instance, the explanation of company benefits is somewhat repetitive and vague, particularly regarding 'upselling'. While the main requirements of the task are met and all bullet points are present, further extension and clearer support for how moving departments directly drives company growth would elevate this aspect of the writing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from the greeting to the sign-off, showcasing the full lower band while nudging into the next level through mostly clear paragraphing and standard letter formatting. Cohesive devices are used throughout, such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Therefore', although some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional clunky sentence transitions slightly disrupt the flow between paragraphs. Organizing the body paragraphs more tightly around distinct themes would further enhance the logical flow of the letter.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task and attempts less common items such as 'hands-on experience', 'upselling', and 'expertize'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'oploading content' instead of 'uploaded content', 'making a request for moving' instead of 'requesting a transfer', and spelling issues like 'expertize' instead of 'expertise'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they reflect a limited and developing lexical control that prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'Since I have been working here for two years in marketing department, I got several opportunity to learn about different things.' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('in marketing department', 'got several opportunity'), prepositions ('position to the other companies'), and slight verb tense slips. Nevertheless, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to easily follow the intended meaning throughout the letter.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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