Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Manager,

Hope this mail finds you well. First of all I want to thank you for this opportunity to serve in criticle position without direct industry exposure. In my current electrician role I learn many things about machine such as operational sequance, pre checks, how the contoler works and mainly how to solve communicaion error.

Although i am good as a electrician; i want to move to millwrite deartment. During my career i notice one thing that, mechanical knowledge is also important for trublshooting. the reason is without knowing the mechanical logics it is a difficult to solve the problem. Morover, company will have a person who knows a both acpect of the machine one mechanical and electrical. so, whenever breakdown occurs; i do not need to wait for technician to check on the mechanical instead, i can check and repair by self and help to increase uptime.

It is been two years and i found this organizartion very suitable for me and my career goals. apart form that co workers are very friendly so, i do not feel to leave the company.Please let me know your decision on this.

Regards,

Electrician

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your request clear: you describe learning about machine operation, pre-checks, controls and communication faults, explain how mechanical knowledge could help reduce downtime, and say you value the company and colleagues. The benefit to the company is the strongest part, especially your point that you could check both electrical and mechanical issues without waiting for another technician. However, your learning and reasons for staying are less fully developed. For example, explain how your current experience has prepared you for the new department, and give a more specific career reason for remaining with this employer. A more explicit, courteous request for a meeting or transfer would also make the purpose of the letter clearer and more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: it moves from your current learning, to the proposed transfer and its benefits, and then to your reasons for staying. Paragraphing supports this progression, and links such as “Although” and “Moreover” help connect related points. This gives the reader a generally easy-to-follow account. To make the organisation more polished, avoid abrupt transitions and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus. The opening moves quickly from thanks to your experience, while the final paragraph combines your length of service, career goals and colleagues without developing their relationship. Some linking phrases and punctuation, such as the semicolon before “i do not need,” interrupt rather than support the flow. A more direct closing request would provide a stronger ending.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “troubleshooting,” “breakdown,” “technician” and “uptime,” which helps communicate the practical value of your proposed move. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word choices are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “criticle,” “sequance,” “contoler,” “communicaion,” “millwrite” and “organizartion” are examples. Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “mechanical logics” and “a both aspect.” Aim for accurate spelling of technical terms and more natural collocations, for example “mechanical principles” and “both aspects of the machine.” The range is sufficient to discuss your work, but greater accuracy and precision would make the letter more professional and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “Although” and a reason introduced by “the reason is.” The main message remains understandable, but some errors in verb forms, articles, agreement and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “In my current electrician role I learn” needs a past-to-present form such as “I have learned,” while “It is been two years” should be “It has been two years.” In “it is a difficult to solve the problem,” the article is incorrectly used, and “a person who knows a both aspect” has article and number problems. Review sentence boundaries and capitalisation as well, particularly after full stops. More consistently accurate clauses would strengthen the letter.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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