Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

hi sir good morning

my name is amritpal singh and i am working with you from 2 years ago as a city driver i am very thankful to your company this company help to worker always . they treat us like a family even we learned lot of things and work with the help of your team and now sir i think lot and i decided i like to join disptacher department i am on work permit and now i am trying to find my permant residence pathway i checked lot of things i want to join other department in your company beacuse in shiping department i can reach my goal and i will help to build my future and also have backhome experince in that field and i will do this work easily i know that in addition it will hard for but i will learn it i have lot of technic and if your team help me than will definatly do this. i dont want to leave this company beacause they give lot of oppertunity team of the company always stand behind us to help and suggest how we can do this work they teach us very politaly

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the main purpose by requesting a move to the dispatch department and explaining that you want to develop your career while remaining with the company. You also mention learning from the team and having previous experience in the field. However, the benefits to the company are not clearly explained: “I will help to build my future” focuses on your own goals, and “I have lot of technic” does not specify what skills or contribution you would bring. Your learning in the current driver role is also described generally rather than with examples. Develop these points, and make the request and reasons clearer and more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a broadly understandable order: it introduces your current role, moves to the transfer request, and then explains why you want to stay. However, the ideas run together in one long paragraph, with few clear links between the task points. Repeated connectors such as “and” and “also” make the progression difficult to follow, while the shift from your work experience to your immigration plans is abrupt. Use separate paragraphs for your current learning, the proposed transfer and its benefits, and your reason for staying. Clear transitions such as “In my current role…” and “This move would benefit the company because…” would make the letter easier to navigate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the situation, including “city driver,” “department,” “work permit,” and “opportunity,” so the reader can identify your request and circumstances. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make parts unclear, such as “disptacher,” “shiping,” “technic,” and “backhome experince.” Phrases such as “this company help to worker always” and “they teach us very politaly” are also not natural ways to express your meaning. Choose precise workplace terms and check spelling; for example, describe specific skills gained as a driver rather than referring vaguely to “lot of technic.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, but sentence structures are often faulty, and errors can make relationships between ideas hard to understand. For example, “I am working with you from 2 years ago” has an incorrect tense pattern, while “if your team help me than will definatly do this” lacks a clear subject and has an incorrect conditional structure. There are also frequent problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “this company help to worker always.” Use shorter, complete sentences first, then practise accurate forms such as “I have worked here for two years” and “If the team supports me, I will succeed in the role.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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