Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to bring your kind notice that I am woking in your company from the last two years.I am working as a call center representative in the Easy Line department. Currently, I am dealing with everyday basic needs of customers regarding their banking accounts.

I have learned how to deal with customers patiently when they are worrying about their bank accounts. I excel in opening new accounts, helping customers with an online banking, and gained some knowledge of insurance department. So, I am thinking if I could move to the insurance department. I would like to educate new generations about that taking an insurance helps in the long runs. This further beneficial to the company as more people will take interest in life insurance, vehicle insurance and more.

I really enjoyed working in your company. As, staff is supportive and the employees opinions are matter. I do not want to leave. It would be highly appreciated if you would let me know if there is any position opening in insurance department, so that I would apply. I would look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

David Moffat

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three required points and maintains a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe customer-service and account-opening experience, propose a move to insurance, and explain that you value the company’s supportive staff. The benefit to the company is also identified through attracting more interest in insurance. These relevant details meet the task well, but some ideas are less fully developed: for example, you could explain more specifically how your banking experience would help you contribute in the insurance department. The reason for staying is clear but brief. To strengthen the response further, make the request for a transfer more direct and support each point with a little more specific explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The information is arranged in a sensible sequence: your current role and learning come first, followed by the proposed transfer and its benefit, then your reasons for staying and a closing request. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and phrases such as “So” and “This further” signal connections between ideas. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. “This further beneficial to the company” does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence, and “As, staff is supportive” creates an awkward start to the final paragraph. The request about an opening also arrives late and could be integrated more clearly with your proposal. Use more natural transitions and ensure each paragraph develops one connected purpose.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main points, including relevant terms such as “call center representative,” “banking accounts,” “online banking,” and “insurance department.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “life insurance” and “vehicle insurance.” However, several noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems limit precision: “bring your kind notice,” “educate new generations,” and “in the long runs” are not natural in this context, while “woking” is misspelled. These do not prevent the reader from understanding your overall message, but they make the letter sound less fluent and professional. Aim for conventional workplace expressions and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures, such as “I would like to educate new generations about that taking an insurance helps…” and “It would be highly appreciated if you would let me know…”. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “I am woking in your company from the last two years” has problems with tense and time expression, while “This further beneficial” is missing a verb. In “the employees opinions are matter,” the possessive and verb construction are inaccurate. Punctuation also needs attention, particularly the missing space after “years.” and the comma after “As.” Practise accurate present-perfect forms and check sentence structure before sending.

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