Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Dash,

I am writing to request you about my transfer into a different department in your company since I have completed two years of experience in my current job.

Currently, I am working as a full time physiotherapist assistant at a Whitby Physiotherapy Centre. I have learned various skills in my present job including building a doctor-patient relationship, patient care, making treament protocols, equipment management, cleaning and maintaining a smooth a workflow with therapists.

Furthermore, I am also interested in administration work. I have passed an exam for medical office administration, which is valid in whole Ontario. In addition, I have worked in doctor's office for a year and gained a wonderful expereince. I recently saw a vacancy for an admin at other branch in Oshawa, I would like to apply for that. This will benefit to our company, because I can work for both jobs, which helps to minimise the staff requirement and manage the budget of the company. Moreover, working as PTA and an admin would allow me to convince increased amount of patients for treatment at our clinic.

I would love to working with your staff and management of the company. I do not want to leave your company because I have learned numerous important skills for my career in this two years. I would like to continue working in the same company but a different sector to enhance my knowledge and develop my personality. I would appreciate your support and I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Krupali

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points and maintain a clear, appropriate purpose: you ask to transfer, describe what you have learned, explain the potential benefit to the company, and state why you want to stay. The examples of patient care, treatment protocols and equipment management make your current experience relevant, while your medical-office qualification and prior office experience support the proposed move. The benefit is less fully explained: “work for both jobs” and “minimise the staff requirement” are not clearly connected to how the transfer would work, and the claim about attracting more patients needs explanation. To strengthen the letter, specify the duties you could take on in administration and explain more precisely how your clinical experience would help the company.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a coherent overall arrangement: it moves from your request and current experience to your administrative background and the company’s benefit, then closes with your reason for staying. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and transitions such as “Furthermore,” “In addition,” and “Moreover” make relationships between ideas visible. However, the linking can feel somewhat mechanical, and the long middle paragraph combines your qualification, previous experience, the vacancy and several benefits. The connection between working in both roles and reducing staffing needs is also not fully clear. Group the evidence for your suitability separately from the benefits, and use more precise references and transitions to show how each point follows.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the purpose, including relevant workplace terms such as “patient care,” “equipment management,” “medical office administration” and “staff requirement.” These details help communicate your experience and proposed move. You also attempt more specific expressions, but some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, for example “request you about my transfer,” “a smooth a workflow,” “benefit to our company” and “convince increased amount of patients.” Spelling slips such as “treament” and “expereince” are noticeable, though the intended meaning is generally recoverable. Aim for natural professional phrasing and check spelling: for instance, say “request a transfer,” “maintain a smooth workflow,” and “benefit the company.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “which is valid in whole Ontario” and a reason clause beginning “because.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in verb patterns, articles and sentence construction. Examples include “I am writing to request you about” and “I would love to working,” where the verb patterns need correction, as well as “at a Whitby Physiotherapy Centre” and “in whole Ontario,” where article use is problematic. The sentence beginning “This will benefit…” also has an unclear structure around “because I can work for both jobs.” Review verb patterns after expressions such as “would like/love,” and edit each sentence for articles and clear clause relationships.

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