Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr. Raj,

I am writing to discuss about moving to a different department in this company.

I have learnt alot of skills working as a production supervisor ranging from planning, managing stocks and people management which are most required skills in any fields.

However, now I am thinking to change my department to try my hands in the procuremet department to learn sourcing and stock tracking. I did my study in stock management therefore I can help in desining tools to track data and cost evaulation as I am expert in all these things.

I have decided to stating in the same company because I have strong relationship with my coworkers and environment is very peacefull here which is hard to find outside. Moreover, pay scale is also very good with high promotion rate for existing employees.

I hope you will understand my decision and I am open to discuss more about this thought.

Yours faithfully,

Simranjeet.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three points and make your request clear: you describe skills gained as a production supervisor, propose moving to procurement, and explain why you want to remain with the company. The examples of stock management and people management are relevant, and your study in stock management gives a reason for the proposed move. However, the benefit to the company is only partly developed: you mention designing tools to track data and evaluate costs, but do not explain how these would improve procurement or support the team. Your reasons for staying focus mainly on workplace relationships, a peaceful environment, pay and promotion, rather than your longer-term commitment to the company. Developing these points with specific outcomes would make the case more persuasive and complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: you introduce the purpose, discuss your experience and proposed move, explain why you wish to stay, and close politely. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and transitions such as “However” and “Moreover” show how some ideas relate. The progression is generally logical, though the link between your current production role and the company’s likely benefit from your move could be made more explicit. Some connections are also a little mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “I” to begin sentences. The closing sentence refers to “this thought,” which is not a very clear reference to your request. Use more precise linking and refer back directly to the proposed transfer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of workplace vocabulary, including “production supervisor,” “stock management,” “sourcing,” and “promotion rate,” so the main ideas are understandable. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “stock tracking” and “cost evaluation.” However, several spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations reduce accuracy: “alot,” “procuremet,” “desining,” and “peacefull” should be corrected, while “try my hands” is not the natural expression here. Phrases such as “expert in all these things” are vague and informal for a letter to a manager. Choose precise professional wording and check spelling; this would make your adequate range more flexible and convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use both simple sentences and some longer structures, including the sentence beginning “I have decided…” and the clause “which is hard to find outside.” Most of the message remains clear, and errors rarely prevent understanding. Some grammatical patterns need attention, however. “I am writing to discuss about” uses an unnecessary preposition, and “I am thinking to change” would be more naturally formed with “thinking of changing.” The phrase “I have decided to stating” also has an incorrect verb form; use “decided to stay.” Articles are missing in “and environment,” and the final request would be clearer as “discuss this further.” Greater control of these patterns, alongside more varied sentence forms, would strengthen accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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