Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Jobe,

I hope you are well. My name is Weeji and I am working as a graphic designer in our company's creative department. I started this job two years ago and it has been very beneficial for me. During these two years, I learned about working in a team and also the use of creative tools in game design. This job also helped me polish my creative abilities.

I have been also studying while working and I have recently completed masters degree in HR management. The reason why I am writing to you today is that I wish to change my department and work in the HR department now. This would also benefit our company because I have learned a lot of new strategies during my degree. I also attended an international workshop at the end of my degree. This workshop helped me gain crucial insights about HR management, which I am more that happy to introduce to our HR department for greater benefits of our company.

A friend has also advised me to switch the company but I am reluctant to do so because I have made so many friends here. The office is also near my house so it's an easy commute.

Kindly let me know about your decision, hoping to hear from you soon.

Kind Regards,

Weeji

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points and maintain a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe learning teamwork and creative tools, request a move to HR, and explain why you prefer to stay. The case for the transfer is relevant, especially your HR master’s degree and workshop, but the company benefit is not fully developed; explain how your new knowledge could support specific HR work or improve outcomes. Your reasons for remaining—friends and a convenient commute—are clear but personal, and could be strengthened by mentioning your commitment to the company or familiarity with its culture. The letter is suitably polite and gives the manager a clear next step, though a more formal closing request would make the purpose even more effective.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter is organised in a clear sequence: your current role and learning, the requested move and its potential value, then your reasons for staying. Paragraphing supports this progression, and links such as “During these two years,” “The reason why,” and “because” help the reader follow the argument. The final request for a decision also gives the letter a natural close. To make the organisation more polished, separate the explanation of your qualifications from the company-benefit argument, and connect the final paragraph more explicitly to your long-term commitment. Some linking is slightly repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “also”; varying these transitions would make cohesion more flexible and less noticeable.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for a workplace letter, including relevant terms such as “creative department,” “HR management,” “strategies,” and “crucial insights.” These choices communicate your qualifications and request clearly, and the tone is generally appropriate. There are, however, some imprecise or awkward expressions that limit flexibility and naturalness. “Polish my creative abilities” is understandable but less idiomatic than “develop my creative skills,” while “for greater benefits of our company” is vague and unnatural. “More that happy” also contains a word-choice/spelling error and would be better expressed as “more than happy.” Aim for precise professional collocations when describing how your experience could contribute to the department.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and more developed sentence forms, including the conditional “This would also benefit our company because…” and the relative clause “which I am more that happy to introduce…”. Most sentences are easy to understand, and errors do not obstruct your message. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain: “I have been also studying” has awkward adverb placement, “completed masters degree” needs an article and possessive form (“completed a master’s degree”), and “I am working” is less suitable than the present simple for describing your established role. The sentence beginning “A friend has also advised me…” is grammatically clear, though its connection to your reasons for staying could be more direct. Review articles, adverb placement, and tense choices to improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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