Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Anilsir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to request you to move me to a different department in our company Yew Technologies.

I am Shraddha Kapadia and I work as a Software Developer from last two years. I have learnt a lot of things while I am working with a Developing Department. Firstly, I can communicate with client easily and resolve their issues ASAP. Secondly, I have been very good at taking notes. Apart from this, I can update anything without getting stressed if there is a requirement change.

Furthermore, I would like to join the Analysis Department and I have seen one opening on the portal regarding Data Analyst position. I think I am best fit for that role as I have completed my post-graduation in Data Analyst stream. Also, I think company would benefit from moving me to that department as I have development experience too.

To be honest, I do not have any plans to change the company as I am here in this company from last two years and team is like a family for me. Even we have a great perks at our firm.

Hope to hearing from you.

Thank you.

Yours sincerely,

Shraddha Kapadia

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points and maintain a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe skills gained, request a move to the Analysis Department, and explain your wish to stay with the company. The examples of client communication, resolving issues, and adapting to requirement changes make your current experience relevant. Your postgraduate qualification and development background also give a reason for the proposed transfer. However, the benefit to the company is only briefly stated as having “development experience too”; explain more specifically how this combination would help the department or its projects. The reason for staying is understandable, but “the team is like a family” and the mention of perks could be developed into a more professional, specific explanation. The response covers the task well, with some ideas less fully supported than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter is organised in a clear sequence: opening request, experience gained, proposed department, and reasons for remaining with the company. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “Furthermore,” and “To be honest” make the progression explicit. The purpose is clear from the opening, and the closing is appropriate for a formal request. Some connections are a little mechanical, particularly the list of skills, and “Apart from this” introduces another point without showing how it relates to the previous examples. You could make the progression more natural by grouping related skills and linking them directly to the Data Analyst role. Overall, the organisation is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the request and relevant experience, including “resolve their issues,” “requirement change,” “opening,” and “post-graduation.” The language is generally understandable, but several choices are awkward or imprecise for a professional letter. “Developing Department” is unclear as a department name, “taking notes” is not strongly connected to the role, and “great perks” sounds informal and does not clearly explain your commitment. “Best fit” would be more natural as “a strong fit.” There is also repetition of “company” and “department.” Aim for more precise workplace vocabulary and natural collocations, while keeping the tone consistently professional. These limitations make the range adequate but not consistently controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more developed sentence forms, and most of the message remains clear. For example, the sentence beginning “I think company would benefit…” gives a reason for the transfer, while “as I have completed…” adds supporting information. Some grammatical errors persist, including “from last two years” instead of “for the last two years,” “while I am working” where a past or present-perfect form is needed, and “Hope to hearing from you,” which should be “I hope to hear from you.” Articles are also missing in “I think company” and “team is like a family.” Review tense consistency, articles, and verb patterns. These errors rarely prevent understanding, but greater accuracy would strengthen the letter.

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