Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear sir,

I wish your days is well.I want to inform you ,I am a sincer employ in your company. I join your company allmost two years.I work your company in backend .I see producting sector in your company.

I have learnd many things in this job.I know what types of products provide in your company.and what taypes of products has coustomar demand..

I want to shift HR department.because i think.your company would benefit from moving me a different department.I think i better work in this department.

Hoever.I do not leav

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make a relevant attempt to address the letter’s purpose: you mention what you learned about the company’s products and customer demand, request a move to HR, and begin to explain why you want to stay. However, the response is incomplete: the final sentence stops at “Hoever.I do not leav,” so your reason for remaining with the company is not explained. The benefit of transferring you is also only asserted (“your company would benefit”) rather than supported with a specific contribution or skill. The response contains 91 words, below the required 150, which leaves the task substantially underdeveloped. To improve, complete all three points and add concrete details about your experience, suitability for HR, and commitment to the company.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The ideas appear in a broadly sensible order: you introduce your employment, describe what you have learned, request a transfer, and start to address staying with the company. This gives the reader a basic sense of the intended message. However, the letter is not complete, and the abrupt ending prevents a clear conclusion. Several ideas are run together with full stops or commas in awkward places, as in “I want to inform you ,I am…” and “I want to shift HR department.because i think.” There is little paragraphing or use of linking expressions to show how your experience supports the transfer request. Use separate paragraphs for your learning, the proposed move and its benefits, and your reason for staying; then connect the points clearly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “backend,” “products,” “customer demand,” and “HR department,” so the reader can identify the main subject of the letter. However, the range is basic and several spelling or word-choice errors make the message harder to read, such as “sincer,” “allmost,” “producting,” “taypes,” and “coustomar.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “I join your company” and “I better work in this department.” Aim for accurate workplace vocabulary and conventional collocations, for example, “I have worked in the backend department” and “I believe my experience would be valuable in HR.” Proofreading spelling and choosing more precise expressions would make your request clearer and more professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, and there is little evidence of varied sentence structures. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently: “I wish your days is well,” “I join your company allmost two years,” and “I want to shift HR department.” These patterns sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in “I think.your company” and the lowercase “i.” Practise forming complete sentences with accurate tense and articles, such as “I joined the company almost two years ago” and “I would like to transfer to the HR department.” A few correctly formed longer sentences explaining your experience and reasons would also demonstrate greater grammatical range.

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