Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear sir,

I am writing this letter to express my inetrest in the new marketing departement position. In these couple of years, I have gained sufficient technical and inter-personal skills while working in sales team. I have also aquired plenty of knowledge about our products, pricing and manufacturing.

I would like to outline my last year's performance in sales with the success rate of 87.94% which was one of the best individual sales number. As management know, I also hold the master degree in computer science with my MBA which makes me the strong candidate for this perticular shift. I felt my growth and potencial are restricted in sales as I have the core skills and talent which will help me to advertise our product effectively.

The managemnt of the insitution supports my ideas and fuels my creativity with their experience. Moreover, work-life balance is noticably decent. This company gave me imense stability and flexibility which makes me think twice before leaving it.

I will really appriciate if I will be able to join the marketing deaprtment to continue my contributions.

Yours sincerley,

Pankti

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three points and maintains a clear, appropriate purpose: you request a move to marketing, describe skills and product knowledge gained in sales, and explain why you value staying with the company. The sales result and your qualifications also help support your suitability. However, the benefit to the company is not fully explained: saying you can “advertise our product effectively” is relevant, but you could show more specifically how your sales experience or product knowledge would improve marketing work. The reason for staying is clear but somewhat general, relying on stability, flexibility, and work-life balance. More developed links between these points and your career goals would make the case more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The information is arranged in a generally logical sequence: the opening states your request, the next paragraphs cover your experience and suitability, and the final paragraph explains why you wish to remain with the company. Paragraphing helps distinguish these purposes, and phrases such as “Moreover” and “As management know” guide the reader. Some connections are less clear or slightly mechanical. For example, the transition from your sales performance and qualifications to feeling restricted in sales could be made more explicit, and “The management of the institution supports my ideas” does not clearly connect to the reasons for staying. A more direct progression from experience, to company benefit, to commitment would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of workplace vocabulary, including “inter-personal skills,” “individual sales,” “core skills,” “creativity,” and “stability.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, spelling errors are noticeable, including “inetrest,” “departement,” “aquired,” “potencial,” and “sincerley,” which reduce the accuracy and professional impression of the letter. Some word choices or collocations are also imprecise: “sales number” would be more natural as “sales figures,” while “this particular shift” does not clearly describe a departmental transfer. “Institution” is also an awkward label for a company. More accurate spelling and natural business collocations would improve clarity and style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The letter includes a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, and most of the meaning remains clear. For example, “This company gave me immense stability and flexibility which makes me think twice before leaving it” combines ideas, while the request and explanation are generally easy to follow. Some grammatical errors remain. In “I have also acquired plenty of knowledge,” the placement of “also” is awkward; “I also acquired” is more natural. “As management know” needs an article or a different construction, and “I will really appreciate if I will be able to join” has an incorrect conditional pattern; use “I would really appreciate it if I could join.” Check article use in “the master degree” and agreement in “which makes me” when referring to multiple qualifications. These are areas to edit while retaining your sentence variety.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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