Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

dear mr hector,

hope my letter finds you in your best health, i have been working in this company from past two incredible years and all the colleagues are very friendly and hardworking. when i started my job i was new and un experiences at that time and worked very hard with time passed by, know i think i am capable of moving to different department in comapny and also due to my experience and knowledge i can make the company progess in the future.

i would never want to leave the company because of its people and the comfort.

regards,

miss mehr

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the main purpose of the letter by saying you feel capable of moving to another department, and you give a reason for staying: “because of its people and the comfort.” However, the required points are only minimally addressed. You mention being new and gaining “experience and knowledge,” but do not explain what specific skills or lessons you learned in your current job. The benefit to the company is also vague: “I can make the company progress” does not show how your experience would help the new department. The response is 103 words, below the required 150, so there is not enough development. Add specific examples and explain your request more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The letter has a basic sequence: it refers to your time in the company, introduces the wish to move departments, and ends with a reason for staying. The greeting and sign-off also make the format recognisable. However, most of the content is placed in one long paragraph, and the ideas are joined mainly with “and” and “because,” so the progression is difficult to follow. The shift from describing colleagues to discussing your experience and then requesting a move could be signposted more clearly. Use separate paragraphs for your learning, the proposed transfer and its benefits, and your reason for remaining with the company. Clearer linking phrases would make the relationships between these points easier to understand.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the situation, including “department,” “experience,” “knowledge,” and “career” is implied through your discussion of moving within the company. This gives the reader a general understanding of your purpose. However, the range is limited, and several choices or spellings reduce precision, such as “incredible two years,” “comfort,” and “make the company progess.” “Comfort” is unclear as a reason for staying, while “progress” needs a more specific expression in this context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “un experiences” and “comapny.” Aim for precise workplace language, such as naming skills you have developed and describing a concrete contribution you could make in the new department.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to combine ideas in longer sentences, for example, “when i started my job i was new … and worked very hard,” but control is inconsistent and the sentence structure is often difficult to follow. Errors include “i have been working … from past two … years,” where the time expression and preposition are not formed correctly, and “know i think,” where the intended time reference is unclear. Capitalisation and punctuation are also weak: sentence beginnings and the pronoun “I” are not capitalised, and several clauses run together without clear punctuation. Most sentences rely on simple patterns, with little accurate variety. Practise forming clear sentences with correct tense and time expressions, then separate related ideas with full stops.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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