Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to request a promotion to a different department. I have been working in the HR department for two years. Redesigning the HR portal allowed me to enhance my coding skills and research about system architecture. Conducting interviews and coordinating with multiple departments simultaneously taught me the importance of teamwork, leadership and further developed my inter-personal skills.

A combination of good inter-personal skills and extensive knowledge of development makes me the ideal candidate for the Intermediate software engineer role. The former, alongside my fluency in English, can help me in client consultancy too. As a result, it would be the best possible scenario to hire internally for the IT department instead of funding a recruitment drive. It is both economical and convenient for the company.

My two years at AISystems have helped me build relationships with over a hundred people in the company. I value those proffesional bonds and the personal growth that comes with working in a mid-sized startup. Furthermore, I believe my goals align with those of the organisation as well. Hence, I would prefer the prospect of continuing to contribute to AISystems.

I will be looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Muhammad Ali Noorani

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The letter addresses all three points and maintains a clear, appropriate purpose: you request a move to another department, explain what you have learned in HR, and give reasons for staying with the company. Specific evidence, such as redesigning the HR portal and conducting interviews, makes your account relevant, while the internal recruitment argument explains a practical benefit to the employer. Your reasons for remaining—professional relationships, personal growth, and aligned goals—are also clear. To develop the response further, explain more explicitly how your skills would meet the IT department’s needs, perhaps with a concrete example of a project or contribution. Also, “request a promotion” may suggest a higher rank rather than the departmental transfer described in the task; state the transfer directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter is organised in a clear sequence: your experience and learning, the company’s potential benefit, and your reasons for staying. Paragraphing supports this progression, and linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Furthermore,” and “Hence” help connect the ideas. The closing is also appropriate for a formal letter. At times, however, the connections feel slightly formulaic, and some ideas could be linked more precisely. For example, the move from your interpersonal skills to “client consultancy” would be clearer if you explained how that ability relates to the proposed IT role. The phrase “The former” also requires the reader to look back to identify its reference. Use a more explicit reference or repeat the key skill to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of workplace vocabulary, including “system architecture,” “coordinating,” “recruitment drive,” and “professional bonds,” which helps communicate your experience and motivation. There is some flexibility in describing both technical and interpersonal strengths. However, a few choices are imprecise or less natural in context: “request a promotion to a different department” does not clearly mean a transfer, and “research about system architecture” is an awkward collocation. “Inter-personal” is usually written as “interpersonal,” while “proffesional” contains a spelling error. “The best possible scenario to hire internally” is also less idiomatic than a direct statement that internal recruitment would be beneficial. More precise collocations and careful proofreading would strengthen control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.5

The response shows a good range of sentence forms, including complex structures such as “Redesigning the HR portal allowed me to enhance my coding skills” and “As a result, it would be the best possible scenario to hire internally.” Most sentences are clear and grammatically controlled, and the past and present forms are generally used appropriately to distinguish your experience from your current request. A few constructions could be made more accurate and natural. In “research about system architecture,” the preposition pattern is not well formed; use “research into system architecture” or “learn about system architecture.” The sentence beginning “A combination of good interpersonal skills…” is also somewhat overloaded, making the relationship between your qualities and the role less direct. Aim for precise sentence patterns while retaining this variety.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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