Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter related to discuss my current developments and future goals in your company which will benefit both of us.

Firstly, recently I completed 2 years in this company and, counting many more to come. Therefore, I started as an intern and now fulfilling the role of team lead in sales.

Secondly, now I am having desire to serve and enhnce my skillset in finance sector as well in your company. Moreover, as per my knowledge there is an vacant position available. Thus, I am having strong academic background in same field which makes me perfect fit got this role.

Lastly, I initiated my corporate career with you and, so far it is my pleasure to be part of it and does not want to leave this company. However, I wish to work in field on my background and grow together with your company.

Thank You,

Regards,

Pawan Atri

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the main purpose by requesting a move to finance, explaining that you have progressed from intern to sales team lead, and stating that you want to remain with the company. However, the benefits to the company are only implied: your academic background is mentioned, but you do not explain how your skills or experience would help the finance department or the business. What you learned in your current role is also not clearly stated; describing your promotion does not specify the knowledge or abilities gained. The reason for staying is relevant but brief. Develop each point with specific examples, and make the request and its benefits explicit to give the manager a fuller, clearer case.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: it opens with its purpose, then covers your current role, the proposed move, and your wish to stay. The sequence is easy to follow, and paragraphing helps separate the main points. However, the repeated markers “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly” make the progression somewhat mechanical, while “Therefore” and “Thus” do not always show a clear logical relationship between the ideas they connect. For example, moving from completing two years to “counting many more to come” is not smoothly expressed. Use more natural transitions and connect each point directly to the next, while keeping the clear paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, including “team lead,” “sales,” “finance sector,” “academic background,” and “corporate career,” which makes the topic clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “career development” and “benefit both of us.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “letter related to discuss,” “having desire,” and “perfect fit got this role.” “Enhnce” is also misspelled, and “an vacant position” contains an incorrect word form. These issues make the language less natural and occasionally slow the reader. Aim for precise, conventional professional expressions and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including longer sentences with “Therefore,” “Moreover,” and “which,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some grammatical errors remain in basic patterns and in the longer constructions. For example, “I am having desire” needs an article and a more suitable verb form, while “there is an vacant position” has an article-agreement error. In “it is my pleasure to be part of it and does not want to leave,” the subject changes unclearly; use “I do not want to leave.” The opening phrase “I am writing this letter related to discuss” also has an incorrect grammatical construction. Practise accurate sentence patterns and check that subjects and verbs remain consistent.

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