Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Trevor,

I hope you are doing well. I, Utsavsinh Chavda, employee number [redacted phone] am writing this letter to request you for considering my application of shifting me into the insurance department.

Recently, I have successfully completed my 2 year work anniversary with RBC as a Banking Advisor and have acquired tremendous amount of knowledge backened by skillful experience. Not only I have attained proficiency in opening accounts, handling investments and applying for mortgage approvals, but also have pushed my limits to acheive monthly sales targets for this role.

Nothwithstanding continuation of my employment in the same role, I would like to take over as an Insurance Advisor at RBC. If given the opportunity, I will be bringing all my banking skills coupled with relevant qualifications into the insurance sector. A substantial advantage of this for the department would be an employee who can serve in dual sectors as per the requirement of the market. Besides, I have a profound interest in getting an exposure to the diverse range of polices and products in the insurance sector.

Moreover, my experience working with RBC has been greatly beautiful. The monthly employee recognition, day to day meetings, employee benifits, supportive work environment and an honour to work under great leadership like you engenders a workpace that I would never wish to leave.

I hope you will consider my request positively and revert me back on my application.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Utsavsinh Chavda

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three requirements and maintains a clear, appropriate purpose: you request a move to the insurance department, describe what you have learned as a Banking Advisor, and explain why you want to remain with RBC. The examples of opening accounts, handling investments, mortgage approvals, and meeting sales targets make your current experience relevant. You also identify a potential benefit to the company through your banking skills and ability to serve across sectors. The explanation of your interest in insurance is clear, though the benefit to the department—particularly the claim about serving in “dual sectors”—would be stronger if explained more specifically. The positive comments about RBC support your wish to stay, but could be linked more directly to your long-term career plans.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear progression: it opens with the request, moves through your current experience and proposed transfer, then explains your commitment to the company before closing politely. Paragraphing helps distinguish these points, and connectors such as “Not only,” “Besides,” and “Moreover” guide the reader through the argument. The overall organisation is logical and the purpose remains easy to follow. Some linking is a little formulaic, however, and the transition from your interest in insurance to the company’s benefit could be more explicit. The final request to “revert me back” also feels abrupt after the preceding explanation. A more direct closing that invites a meeting or discussion would create a smoother conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a reasonably varied vocabulary for a formal workplace letter, including “proficiency,” “substantial advantage,” “supportive work environment,” and “employee recognition.” These choices help communicate your experience and motivation, and the meaning is generally clear. However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “tremendous amount of knowledge backened by skillful experience,” “greatly beautiful,” and “revert me back” are not natural in this context; “acheive,” “benifits,” and “polices” are misspelled. Some phrases, such as “serve in dual sectors,” are also unclear. To strengthen control, favour conventional professional expressions and check spelling carefully, while keeping the useful range of vocabulary already present.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The letter includes a mix of straightforward sentences and more complex structures, such as “If given the opportunity, I will be bringing…” and “Not only… but also…”. Most ideas remain understandable, and the paragraphs contain several well-formed sentences. Some grammatical patterns are not fully controlled, though. In the opening, “request you for considering my application of shifting me” uses an awkward construction; a clearer pattern is “request that you consider my application for a transfer.” The sentence beginning “Notwithstanding continuation…” is also difficult to parse, and “an honour to work under great leadership like you” lacks a clear grammatical connection. Review article use, sentence construction, and punctuation around long sentences to make the complex ideas more consistently accurate.

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