Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manuel,

I am writing this letter to get a feedback from you regarding my performance in last two years. I would like management to review my skills and to set up goals and targets for my further growth in other departments.

My present job taught about sales and to promote business. Additionally, I ranked as a bestest sales advisor of the year. I learned about marketing and adversing in the weekly workshops which help me to broaden my parameter of sales.

However, gaining the hand-on experience and apprenticeship can help me to move forward with other areas in this company such as accounting or finance. Moreover, my experience in sales and interest towards accounting can help company with effective and efficient results.

Hope Ltd, This company plays a very crucial role in my life. Two years ago, I started my career with no practical experience but with my degrees. This place helps me to build who i am right now. I will always be committed towards the company and my dedicated work. I would like to grow further along with better future career prospects.

Thank you for your time and patience.

Your faithfully

Samridhi

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you describe learning about sales and marketing, propose moving into accounting or finance, and explain your commitment to the company. The reason for staying is especially clear in “I started my career with no practical experience” and your statement that the company helped you develop. However, the benefits to the company are less fully explained: “effective and efficient results” is broad, and you could show specifically how your sales knowledge would help the new department. The request is also framed mainly as asking for feedback and a review, rather than directly requesting a transfer. State the move clearly and support the business case with a concrete example to make the purpose and ideas more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a generally coherent sequence: it opens with your request, describes what you learned, explains the proposed move, and ends with your reasons for staying. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these points, and connectors such as “Additionally” and “Moreover” make some relationships clear. At times, however, the progression feels mechanical or the connection between ideas is unclear. For example, “I am writing this letter to get a feedback” introduces a performance review, while the next sentence shifts to career growth without clearly stating the transfer request. “Hope Ltd, This company” also creates an abrupt transition. Use a direct opening and clearer links between your experience, the proposed department, and the company’s benefit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of workplace vocabulary, including “sales advisor,” “weekly workshops,” “practical experience,” and “career prospects.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and you attempt more specific language when discussing accounting and finance. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, though, such as “bestest sales advisor,” “adversing,” “broaden my parameter of sales,” and “interest towards accounting.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning less precise, even though the overall message remains understandable. Aim for standard professional expressions and check spelling and word forms; precise phrases such as “expand my sales expertise” and “interest in accounting” would make the letter sound more natural and appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more developed sentence forms, including the sentence beginning “However, gaining the hand-on experience…” and the explanation of how the company supported your development. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. Examples include the missing article in “taught about sales,” the construction “I learned about marketing and adversing … which help me,” and inconsistent capitalisation in “i am.” The closing “Your faithfully” also has an agreement error. Review articles, verb agreement and tense consistency, and use a standard letter closing such as “Yours faithfully.” More consistently accurate sentences would strengthen the professional tone while preserving your range of structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.