Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter for development of my career. In my perspective I can join your another department to enhance my capabiltiy furthermore my career.

I joined your company since two years. These years became beneficial for me and gave me experience. I learned how to work confidently and how to manage things in the hactic conditions. I am always grateful the compamy for this experience.

Now I completed my mangement course and I want to increment in my job as well as salary. I request you to give me an oppurtunity to work as an manager in your comapny I will work hard as I always did earlier.

Actually the main reason is that I don't want to leave the company. I feel here a relaxed environment. Relations with other employee is also well. we work like a family. Thus I request you to give me a favour . This decision never become regret for you.

I am waiting for your responce. My certificate and other essential papers are attached.

yours Faithfully,

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the main purpose by requesting a move within the company, and you mention learning to work confidently and manage difficult conditions. You also explain that you value the workplace and relationships, which responds to why you want to stay. However, the benefits to the company are not clearly explained: “I will work hard” is a general promise rather than a specific advantage of transferring you. The request to become “an manager” also does not identify a department or role that fits your experience. Several ideas remain limited or unclear, so develop each bullet with concrete details—for example, how your management course and current experience could help the new department.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a recognisable sequence: you introduce your request, describe your experience, explain your career aim, and give reasons for staying. Paragraph breaks help separate these points. However, progression is not always clear, and some links feel mechanical or imprecise. For example, “Now I completed my mangement course” follows the account of your current job without explaining how the course connects to a particular transfer. The repeated requests (“I request you…”) also make the letter feel repetitive. Use clearer transitions and organise the body around the three task points, with each paragraph developing one point and linking it explicitly to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, including “career development,” “experience,” “management course,” and “department,” so the reader can understand the general purpose. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “increment in my job,” “relaxed environment,” and “give me a favour.” Spelling errors—including “capabiltiy,” “hactic,” and “responce”—also make the writing less polished and can slow the reader. Build a more precise set of phrases for professional requests and workplace benefits, and check spelling carefully. Choosing natural expressions will make your meaning clearer without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including “I learned how to work confidently and how to manage things…” and “Thus I request you…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, verb forms, articles, and agreement. Examples include “I joined your company since two years,” “I completed my mangement course,” and “Relations with other employee is also well.” These patterns can make the reader pause to interpret the intended meaning. Practise accurate past and present-perfect forms, subject–verb agreement, and articles, then proofread each sentence. More reliable control of these basics will help you express the request and supporting reasons clearly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.