Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir,

Hello, I hope your are doing well. I would like to say thank you for giving me best position in your organization, Now I am thinking this job provides me career opportunities in future.

To commence with, there are myriad of things that I learned during my job. whether working with senior workers in the same department or same age group employees, giving me a chance to learn such skills such as cooperation, soft communication, and kindness.

Despite, having a number of people in this department, I consider I have a ability to do all tasks efficently and swiftly. Because I have been working in this sector years ago, so i know very well how to bring success in the company.

Being a part of this company, I met with a lot of people with different mindsets, allowing me to learn new things including, how to get permotion, to be honest many more. This company provides me better opportunities to fulfill my daily needs.

I would grateful that I get a chance to do work with you.

yours faithfully

rrr

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You mention learning cooperation and communication through working with colleagues, and you refer to your experience and wish to remain with the company. However, the central purpose—requesting a move to another department—is not clearly stated, and the benefit to the company is not explained. The claim that you can complete tasks “efficiently and swiftly” is not connected to a specific new department or how your skills would help it. Your reasons for staying are also vague: “better opportunities to fulfill my daily needs” does not clearly explain why you want to continue with this employer. To strengthen the response, make a direct transfer request and develop each of the three required points with relevant details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response has a basic letter-like structure and uses a few signposts, such as “To commence with” and “Being a part of this company.” These help indicate that you are adding information. However, the ideas do not progress clearly from what you learned, to the company’s benefit, to why you want to stay. Several points are placed together without clear links, and “Despite” introduces a sentence in a way that does not fit its meaning. The closing also does not clearly connect to a request. Organise the letter into focused paragraphs, one for your learning, one for the proposed transfer and its benefit, and one for your reasons for staying and a polite request.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some less common vocabulary, including “myriad,” “cooperation,” “mindsets,” and “opportunities,” showing a willingness to use a range beyond basic words. However, several choices or combinations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “best position,” “soft communication,” “get permotion,” and “fulfill my daily needs.” Spelling errors such as “efficently” and “permotion” also reduce precision. These issues sometimes make the intended meaning less clear, particularly when describing what you learned and how you could contribute in another department. Aim for accurate, natural workplace expressions rather than ornate wording; for example, “communication skills” and “career progression” would fit this formal letter more appropriately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including “Being a part of this company, I met with a lot of people…,” and the main ideas can generally be understood. However, errors occur frequently in basic sentence construction and in attempts to link clauses. Examples include “I hope your are doing well,” “I would grateful,” and “Because I have been working in this sector years ago, so…,” where the verb forms and clause structure are faulty. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “organization, Now.” Practise accurate sentence patterns first, especially subject–verb forms and complete clauses, then use linking words without combining “because” and “so” in the same construction.

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