Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing this letter to inform you that the time has come for me to change my current department in your organization. It has been two years since i joined this company as a protective services guard and now i believe that i should be promoted to the Team lead position. while working as a protective services guard i have experienced a lot of hand-on situations including dealing with suspicious subjects, physically escorting them out of private property, issues them trespass ban and arresting them after committing offensive crime.

If I would be promoted to higher authority I will enhance my skills while helping to other guards and train them for exactly what your organization promise to client while receiving a contract. Furthermore, I am also trained for dispatch duties thus, I can also supervise during any incident which require investigation.

The main reason I want to become Team lead in your company is that, because i want gain more hands-on experience and this is the only more trusted security company in Northern-America region. apart from this, Only this organization offers security to policing options. As you are already aware that i desperately I wanted to be in law enforcement therefore, in my opinion your being a Team lead can be a good decision for me and my career.

Your Faithfully,

Inderjeet Singh

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the main purpose by requesting a move to a team-lead role, and you explain what you have learned through examples such as handling suspicious people and escorting them from private property. You also give reasons for staying, including your interest in law enforcement and the company’s security work. However, the benefit to the company is only partly explained: training guards and supervising incidents are relevant, but you could show more clearly how your experience would improve service or meet client needs. The request is also framed as a promotion rather than clearly asking to move to a different department, so the proposed change is not fully aligned with the task. Develop each point more directly and clarify the department you want to join.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a recognisable structure, with separate paragraphs for your experience, the company’s potential benefit, and your reasons for staying. This helps the reader identify the main points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking phrases are occasionally awkward or repetitive. For example, “Furthermore” introduces a related skill, but the connection between dispatch duties and the proposed team-lead role could be explained more explicitly. The final paragraph combines several reasons in a long, difficult-to-follow sequence. Use clearer topic sentences and arrange each paragraph around one main purpose; then connect supporting details with accurate, natural transitions. A more conventional closing would also make the letter feel complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant job-specific vocabulary, including “dispatch duties,” “suspicious subjects,” “contract,” and “law enforcement,” which helps communicate your experience. There is also an attempt to use less common language, but several choices or combinations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “hand-on situations,” “issues them trespass ban,” and “offensive crime.” These expressions may make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Some wording is also imprecise, including “higher authority” for a team-lead role. Build a more reliable range of workplace and security collocations, and check that each phrase expresses the intended meaning. More natural choices would make your relevant experience clearer and more persuasive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If I would be promoted…” and clauses beginning with “while” and “as.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the letter difficult to follow. For example, “If I would be promoted” needs a more suitable conditional form, while “i want gain” is missing a grammatical element. The sentence beginning “The main reason…” also contains a confusing construction, and capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent. Practise forming clear conditional sentences and checking verb patterns, articles, and sentence boundaries. Shorter, accurately controlled sentences would help communicate your request more effectively.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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