Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir

I am writing to request a transfer to a different department within our company.

I started working as a customer support officer two years ago, and this job has been a great learning experience for me. During this time, I have learned how to handle difficult clients. Improve my communication skills and work well in a team. I am also gained deep understanding of our company products and values.

I believe that moving to the Marketing Develment would benefit the company. Because I know our customers problems very well. I work hard more this department. My experience in support would help the marketing team to thrive and connect with customers more effectively.

Furthermore, I do not wish to leave the company because I really admire the work, culture and supportive managment herec. I want to grow my career within the organization rather than looking for oppertunities outside.

I would be very grateful if you consider my rquest and discuss it with me.

Yours sincerely.

Ahmad.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points and make your purpose clear from the opening: you want to transfer departments while remaining with the company. The account of your current role includes useful learning, such as handling difficult clients and understanding the company’s products and values. You also explain that your support experience could help Marketing connect with customers, and that you value the company’s culture. However, the benefit to the company is less fully explained than the other points: “I work hard more this department” does not clearly show what you would contribute. Develop this with a specific example of how customer feedback could inform campaigns. A more complete explanation of your skills and the department’s needs would make the request more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: you state your request, describe what you have learned, explain the proposed benefit, and give your reason for staying. Paragraphing supports this progression, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore” help signal the final point. The sequence is easy to follow, though some connections within paragraphs are abrupt. For example, “Because I know our customers problems very well” is separated from the preceding sentence and does not form a complete link to the claim that follows. The learning paragraph also shifts from a list of skills to company knowledge without smooth sentence construction. Connect these ideas with complete sentences and clearer transitions. The closing request is appropriate, but could refer more directly to arranging a discussion about the transfer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to a workplace letter, including “customer support officer,” “communication skills,” “company products and values,” and “connect with customers more effectively.” These choices make your meaning generally clear and show some range beyond basic wording. However, several spelling and word-choice problems reduce precision, including “Develment,” “managment,” “herec,” “oppertunities,” and “rquest.” The phrase “work hard more this department” is also unclear, while “thrive” is not supported by a specific explanation of how your experience would help. Proofread carefully and choose natural workplace collocations, such as “contribute to the department” or “apply my customer-service experience.” More precise vocabulary would make the request sound more professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, and most of the message remains understandable. For instance, “I started working as a customer support officer two years ago” is a clear sentence, and the explanation of why you want to stay is also easy to follow. Some grammatical errors nevertheless affect accuracy. “During this time, I have learned how to handle difficult clients. Improve my communication skills…” leaves a fragment after the full stop; combine the ideas or make the second one a complete clause. “I am also gained” uses an incorrect verb form, and “Because I know…” is another incomplete sentence. Review present perfect forms and ensure each sentence has a complete main clause. The closing punctuation also needs attention: use a comma after “Yours sincerely,” rather than a full stop.

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