Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inform you that I want to move to a different department in this company for my career development. I have been doing this job for 2 years and learned a lot of skills.

I joined in the data server department. In my 2 years of service, I have learned how to manage the huge chunks of data systematically, research the data and find the possible connection between the datasets. Moreover, I learned how to clean the dataset and perform exploratory analysis.

Now I am hoping to join the cloud computing department for my employment development. I have learned everything in the data server department. If i join cloud computing department, I will be working on the dataset which I have processed and this will make the process faster and efficient. This will save the lookaround time and make the whole process a lot efficient.

I want to grow professionally but do not want to change my company as the management is very professional. I like the work life balance of this company and wish to pursue growth in the same company.

I would be grateful if you could transfer me to cloud computing department.

I look forward to your prompt response.

Yours faithfully,

Tarunjeet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three required points and maintains a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe skills gained in the data server department, propose a move to cloud computing, and explain that you value the company’s management and work-life balance. The proposed benefit—using already processed datasets to make work faster—is relevant, but its practical impact is not fully explained, and “I have learned everything” is an unsupported overstatement. The reason for staying is clear but could be developed with a more specific example of what makes this company worth remaining with. The formal opening and closing suit the letter, although addressing your manager by name or title would make it more directly tailored. More precise support for the benefits would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The information is arranged in a sensible sequence: purpose, experience, proposed transfer, reasons for staying, and a closing request. Paragraphing helps the reader distinguish these stages, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Now,” and “If” make the progression easy to follow. However, some connections are repetitive or slightly mechanical: “efficient” and “process” recur in the transfer paragraph, while “I have learned everything” does not clearly lead into the specific benefit that follows. The relationship between your data-processing experience and the cloud team’s work could be made more explicit. Overall, the letter is coherent, but clearer referencing and more varied links between ideas would make the progression smoother and more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of work-related vocabulary, including “manage,” “datasets,” “exploratory analysis,” and “career development,” so the reader can understand your experience and proposal. There are also attempts at more specialised language, which suits the subject. Some choices are imprecise or unnatural, however: “data server department,” “employment development,” and “save the lookaround time” do not express the intended ideas clearly or idiomatically. “A lot efficient” is also an inaccurate collocation, and “huge chunks of data” is less suitable for a formal request than a more precise phrase. These issues do not prevent understanding, but more natural collocations and precise wording would improve the professional tone and show greater control of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The letter includes both simple sentences and more complex forms, such as “If i join cloud computing department, I will be working…” and the clause beginning “as the management is very professional.” Most ideas remain clear, and you use past and future forms to describe your experience and plans. Some grammatical errors persist, including the lowercase “i,” missing articles in “join cloud computing department” and “the dataset,” and the awkward construction “I have been doing this job for 2 years and learned…,” where the verb forms are not well balanced. The sentence “This will save the lookaround time and make the whole process a lot efficient” also has a faulty structure. Review articles, parallel verb forms, and sentence construction to make your varied structures more consistently accurate.

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