Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I would like to bring to your attention that my contract with your company in clinical department has ended this week. I got enough exposure of clinical expertise in your company and my clinical handling skills have improved as well. However, I would like to explore some other fields which includes data analysis and requisition scrutiny. This is because, I would like you to replace me to administration department for additional learning of alternative fields.

I believe that I will excel in alternative fields too because I am keen towards acquiring knowledge in domains other than clinical environment. I would like to tell you that this will benefit your company in both ways because I am open up to work in both domains and shifts.

In addition, I would like to contribute my skills to this company only because this is from where I enhanced my basic knowledge and upgraded my intellectual growth.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Maryam Imran

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the main purpose by requesting a move to administration and explaining that you want to develop beyond clinical work. You also mention what you have learned, including improved clinical handling skills, and give a reason for staying: the company helped your professional growth. However, the request is not fully clear: “my contract … has ended this week” suggests your employment may have finished, while the task says you are seeking an internal transfer. The benefit to the company is also asserted rather than explained; being “open up to work in both domains and shifts” needs a specific link to the department’s needs. Develop each point with clearer, relevant details and state directly that you wish to remain with the company.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a recognisable sequence: it introduces your situation, explains your interest in another department, gives a possible benefit, and closes politely. Paragraph breaks and transitions such as “However” and “In addition” help separate the points. However, the progression is not always clear because the opening says your contract has ended, then the letter asks for a transfer, and the relationship between these ideas is unexplained. Some links are also mechanical or unclear, particularly “This is because” and “this will benefit your company in both ways.” Organise the letter around the three requested points, and use clearer references so the reader can follow how your experience supports the proposed move.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “clinical expertise,” “data analysis,” “administration department,” and “acquiring knowledge,” which helps communicate your professional interests. There is also some attempt to use less common expressions, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural and make the message less precise. For example, “requisition scrutiny” is unclear in this context, and “intellectual growth” sounds less natural than a direct reference to professional development. “Clinical handling skills” is also vague. Choose familiar, precise workplace terms and check collocations so your meaning is immediately clear. A more natural range of expressions would make the letter sound more confident and professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, for example, “I believe that I will excel in alternative fields too because…” This shows some range, and the overall message remains understandable. However, errors in sentence construction and agreement occur in several places. In “fields which includes,” the verb should agree with the plural “fields”; “I am open up to work” needs a different grammatical form; and “I would like you to replace me to administration department” does not express the intended transfer accurately. Articles and prepositions also need attention, as in “to administration department.” Review verb agreement, infinitive patterns, and article use, then proofread each sentence to ensure the structure matches your intended meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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