Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request you regarding my transfer in a different department as it is crucial for my career devlopment.

I started working as an assistant manager for oprational department and in these last 2 years i learned so many things, such as how to manage people?, moreover I also learn that how to handle a situation under pressure? and these all are essenctial for managing a professional environment in company.

Furthermore, I know that in research department we need someone for managing everything so as you know that i have 2 year experience with managing things and i would love to handle that department as i can help with my experience.

I am working here since last 2 years not only because it improves my personal development but also helpfull for my bright future. To add more, the seniors are very helpfull in every situation and also guiding us in a proper deraction.

I would be grateful if you could accept my request. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points: you describe learning to manage people and handle pressure, propose moving to the research department, and explain that you value the company’s support and guidance. The request is clear, and the letter has an appropriate opening and closing. However, some parts are less fully developed than others. The benefits to the company are asserted rather than explained: saying you could “help with my experience” would be stronger if you specified how your operational skills would meet the research department’s needs. Your reason for staying focuses mainly on personal development and helpful seniors; explain more directly why you want to continue contributing to this company rather than seek a role elsewhere.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a coherent overall arrangement: it moves from the transfer request to your experience, the proposed department, and your reasons for staying. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these points, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore” and “To add more” make the progression visible. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical, and some sentences combine several ideas without clear relationships. For example, the paragraph beginning “I started working…” joins your experience, a list of skills, and a general claim about professional environments. Organise each paragraph around one purpose and use clearer links between evidence and its relevance. Also make references explicit—for instance, clarify what “that department” refers to and how your experience would benefit it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points, and phrases such as “career development,” “under pressure,” and “professional environment” suit the topic. However, the range is limited, with repeated general words such as “things,” “managing,” and “help.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “request you regarding my transfer” and “handle that department.” Spelling errors such as “devlopment,” “oprational,” “essenctial,” and “deraction” also make the writing less polished. Aim for precise workplace language and check spelling carefully. For example, describe the specific skills you gained and the contribution you could make, rather than relying on broad terms like “everything” or “things.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “not only because…but also…,” and your meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in verb forms, sentence construction, and punctuation. For example, “in these last 2 years i learned” needs a more appropriate tense and capitalisation, while “i also learn that how to handle a situation” has an incorrect verb form and an unnecessary “that.” The question marks inside “how to manage people?” and “under pressure?” are also inappropriate within reported statements. Practise forming indirect statements and maintaining consistent tense when describing experience gained over the past two years. Breaking long sentences into clearer units would also improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.