Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.0)

i work in hospital form 2 year i gain unique experience and knowlgde how to deal with patient amd how manage the work load in hoapital i have so many benefits when i changed my job i move another department because when i move to another campany then i have lot oppourunites with high package i work in hospital with benefits of accomodation service now i want to change my job beacsue of these issues

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You mention experience gained in your hospital role, including dealing with patients and managing workload, and you refer to moving to another department. However, the letter does not clearly explain how the company would benefit from the move, and the reason for staying is contradicted by saying you have opportunities at another company and want to change your job. The three required points are therefore only minimally addressed, and your purpose and position are difficult to follow. The response is also 75 words below the 150-word minimum, leaving little space to develop the ideas. Explain your skills, connect them to the new department’s needs, and clearly state why you want to remain with this employer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.0

The response contains a few related ideas, such as your hospital experience, patient care, workload, and accommodation benefits, but they are presented as one continuous sequence rather than as a clearly organised letter. The shift from wanting to move departments to mentioning another company and then saying you want to change jobs makes the progression especially difficult to follow. There is no greeting, clear opening request, or closing, and links between points are limited. Organise the letter into short paragraphs: introduce your request, describe what you have learned, explain the benefit to the company, and finish by clarifying why you wish to stay. Use linking phrases to show how each point supports your request.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the situation, including “experience,” “deal with patient,” “work load,” “department,” and “accomodation service.” These choices show that you can communicate the general topic, but the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors make the message less clear, such as “knowlgde,” “oppourunites,” and “campany.” Some phrases are also imprecise: “I have so many benefits when i changed my job” does not clearly express what benefits you mean. Build a more precise set of workplace expressions, such as “skills in patient care,” “manage a heavy workload,” and “career development.” Check spelling and choose phrases that clearly distinguish changing departments from changing employers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on simple clauses joined together, as in “i gain unique experience and knowlgde how to deal with patient amd how manage the work load.” There is an attempt to express reasons and consequences, but sentence boundaries and grammatical relationships are often unclear. For example, “when i move to another campany then i have lot oppourunites” shifts between a possible future and a present claim without a clear structure, while “how manage” is missing a grammatical subject or infinitive marker. Capitalisation and punctuation are also absent, making the long sequence harder to read. Practise complete sentences with accurate verb forms, articles, and punctuation, then combine ideas using clear clauses such as “I have learned how to manage a heavy workload.”

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