Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to bring your attention on the important aspect of my previous job position. As you know I have been working in this company for the past two years, now I would like to request you to transfer me to the marketing department for further growth. Not to mention, I have acquired great professional skills during my working tenure. When I joined the company, I hardly could draft a mail or prepare documents, as the time passes I mastered these tasks. Moreover, I also learned teamwork, project execution and customer retention strategies which is equally important for the organisation itself. Two days ago, I got a chance to work with marketing team and I realized there has not been enough manpower to handle the current project. Along with these mentioned skills, I am also a great designer with strong command on logos, posters, banners and products manipulation designs which would help the company to save the additional cost of hiring new manpower. Although I never got a chance to showcase my talent, I would love to cease the opportunity now. instead of leaving the organisation, I truly believe working with your company for the rest of my life can really be a path to my success, as I am fully aware the rules that those who works more than 5 years, they get handsome salary with great gratuity and retirement plans. I

Kindly consider my request an utmost priority and do the needful as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,

Alex

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three points and make your request clear: you describe skills gained in your current role, explain how design and marketing experience could help the company, and state that you want to remain with the organisation. The examples of learning to prepare documents and working with the marketing team make the letter relevant. This meets the task well, though some ideas are less fully developed than others. In particular, the benefit of your transfer is mainly framed as saving recruitment costs; you could explain how your skills would contribute to the project or marketing outcomes. Your reason for staying focuses on salary, gratuity and retirement plans, which is clear but could be balanced with a more personal or professional reason for valuing the company.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter follows a broadly sensible order: it introduces the request, describes your learning, presents your potential contribution, and closes with a request for consideration. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Although,” and “instead of” help connect ideas. However, most of the content is placed in one long paragraph, so the progression is harder to follow than it needs to be. Some transitions also feel mechanical, and the final sentence about staying with the company shifts abruptly to benefits after five years. Divide the letter into clear paragraphs—request and experience, proposed contribution, and reasons for staying—and use references and transitions that make the relationship between each point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for a formal workplace letter, including relevant terms such as “teamwork,” “project execution,” “customer retention strategies,” and “retirement plans.” These choices show an attempt to be specific, and the intended meaning is generally clear. Some phrases, however, are inaccurate or unnatural in context, such as “bring your attention on,” “cease the opportunity,” and “products manipulation designs.” “Previous job position” is also confusing because you are describing your current role. Aim for more natural collocations and precise wording, particularly when describing your design skills and the company’s staffing needs. This would make the letter sound more fluent and professionally appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning “When I joined” and “Although I never got a chance.” The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in longer sentences. For example, “as the time passes I mastered these tasks” has a tense and clause-structure problem, while “those who works more than 5 years, they get” has subject–verb agreement and sentence construction errors. There are also missing commas after introductory clauses and a lowercase “instead” after a full stop. Break up the longest sentences, check that subjects and verbs agree, and use consistent past or present tenses when describing your experience.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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