Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Dr.Michael,

I hope yor are doing great. I am writing to request you about my tranfer from primary health care to secondary health care department.

As you know I am working at Basic Health Unit from last two years. I am working as a Medical Officer, and have learned a lot about hospital management and patient care. In addition, I have attended number of medical electives and learned about medical audit.

Now I am able to work in Secondary Health Care. My practical experience will benefit the patients, and I will do the medical audit too, which helps the management team. I can handle the emergency floor also, as I know the basic medical procedures in critical care.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You make a relevant request and explain what you have learned, including patient care, hospital management and medical audit. You also give possible benefits of the transfer, such as supporting patients and helping the management team. However, the response is incomplete: it does not explain why you want to remain with the company, and the benefits are only briefly stated rather than supported with clear examples. The required minimum of 150 words is not met, so there is limited space to develop the points. To strengthen the letter, address all three bullet points explicitly, especially your reasons for staying, and expand each with specific details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a recognisable sequence: you introduce the transfer request, describe your current experience, and then outline how you could contribute in another department. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and linking phrases such as “In addition” and “Now” make some relationships clear. However, the ending is missing, so the letter does not feel complete, and the progression stops after the proposed benefits without returning to your reason for staying. Add a closing paragraph that explains your commitment to the company and politely invites discussion. More explicit links between your experience and each proposed contribution would also make the organisation clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of work-related vocabulary, including “patient care,” “medical audit,” “management team,” and “critical care,” which makes your professional context clear. Some less common terms are relevant, although a few expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “request you about my tranfer” and “attended number of medical electives.” There are also spelling errors, including “yor” and “tranfer.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding your main purpose, but they reduce precision and polish. Choose more natural collocations, such as “request a transfer” and “attended a number of medical electives,” and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple sentences and some longer structures, for example, “My practical experience will benefit the patients, and I will do the medical audit too, which helps the management team.” The main message is generally understandable, and some sentence forms are controlled. However, there are errors in tense, articles and prepositions: “from last two years” should be “for the last two years,” and “attended number of” needs an article. The opening request also has an incomplete grammatical pattern: write “I am writing to request a transfer” rather than “request you about my transfer.” Use a wider range of accurately formed sentences and check these patterns to improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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