Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I hope this letter find you well. I am writing to sincerely request you for internal transfer into different department within a company because I believe that it is a right time for my career development.

In my present job, I have gained experience about how to work in a team, coordinate with colleagues and under pressure.

The company would also gets benefits from me because I am familiar with the company culture, rule and regulations. So, I required less training as compare to new employee. Moreover, I can demonstrate my experience of team work and decision making which I have learned from my current department.

I do not have any intention to leave this company because their is a supportive management, positive work environment and numerous health and transport benefits.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my request. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely

Preet

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points and maintain a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe teamwork and working under pressure, explain that your company knowledge could reduce training, and give reasons for staying. This meets the task well. The explanation of what you learned is brief, however, and the benefits to the company would be more convincing if you showed how your skills could contribute specifically in the new department. Your reasons for remaining—supportive management, a positive environment, and benefits—are relevant but listed rather than developed. The request is clear, though a more specific proposed department or a courteous request for a meeting would make the letter more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear progression: purpose, experience, benefits to the company, reasons for staying, and a polite closing. Separate paragraphs make the main points easy to locate, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “because” help connect ideas. The organisation is effective overall, with a suitable formal opening and sign-off. To make the progression more natural, connect your experience more explicitly to the proposed transfer rather than presenting it as a separate list. Some links are also a little mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “because” to introduce reasons. A more specific transition between your skills and the company’s likely benefit would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “internal transfer,” “company culture,” “decision making,” and “supportive management,” and your meaning remains clear. There is some range, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “request you for internal transfer” and “gained experience about how to work” do not sound idiomatic. “The company would also gets benefits” is also an awkward expression. Aim for natural formal phrases and check word forms and spelling, including “their” where you mean “there.” More precise vocabulary for the skills you have developed and the contribution you could make would strengthen the letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple sentences and longer structures, including a reason clause with “because” and a sentence beginning “Moreover.” The message is generally understandable, but some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “I hope this letter find you well” should use “finds,” while “The company would also gets benefits” needs a base verb after “would.” In “I am writing to sincerely request you for internal transfer,” the request structure and article use need correction. The sentence about working “in a team, coordinate with colleagues and under pressure” also lacks parallel grammatical forms. Practise accurate request patterns and parallel lists while retaining your varied sentence lengths.

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