Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Abraham,

I am writing this letter to request a change in department from my current positon as a Sales Manager to a Marketer in the same company.

I was hired as a sales person here two years ago, and since then I have done tons of hard woked, generated massive sales.I was promoted last year to the Sales Manager position and I have been working well in that positon as well. In my years so far have learnt to pitch our products to people, explain their utlities and USP to them, and also managing sales people to consitently meet sales target and get the best out of them.

However,recently, I have decided that I want to go in a different direction and want to take part in the Marketing department, marketing our products to the whole world, instead of a few at a time. My record as the sales person shows itself that I am knowledgeable about our products and how to market them to people and make sales. I also do not want to leave this company, I have promoted this company so much since the start that going to any other company and promting them would not feel right to me.

I hope you can allow me to put my skills to work at a greter scale.

Yours Obediently,

Aryan Kaushal

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three required points and makes the request clear: you describe learning to pitch products, explain that your sales experience could support marketing, and state that you want to remain with the company. These are relevant reasons, and the reference to your knowledge of the products helps connect your current role to the proposed move. However, the benefits to the company are only partly developed: “marketing our products to the whole world” is broad, and you could explain more concretely how your sales knowledge would help the marketing team reach customers or improve campaigns. Your reason for staying is personal and clear, but could be made more professional by mentioning loyalty, familiarity with the company, or a desire to grow within it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it opens with the request, gives background and skills, then explains the proposed move and your wish to stay before closing. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and linking words such as “since then,” “However,” and “also” guide the reader. Some connections are less smooth, though. The transition from your sales achievements to the skills learned is compressed into one long sentence, while “However” does not introduce a strong contrast with the preceding paragraph. The final sentence is polite but abrupt and does not clearly recap the specific benefit to the company. Use clearer links between your experience, the marketing role, and the company’s likely gain.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a suitable range of work-related vocabulary, including “Sales Manager,” “Marketing department,” “pitch our products,” “USP,” and “sales target.” These terms make your experience and intended move understandable. There are also attempts at more expressive phrasing, such as “put my skills to work at a greater scale,” although some choices are imprecise or informal for a letter to a manager: “tons of hard work,” “the whole world,” and “shows itself” do not express your points as precisely as they could. Spelling errors such as “positon,” “utlities,” “consitently,” and “promting” also affect the accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim for precise professional collocations and proofread carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The letter includes both simple and more complex sentence forms, such as the sentence beginning “In my years so far…” and the explanation of how your sales record relates to marketing. The main message remains clear, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems reduce accuracy. For example, “In my years so far have learnt” is missing a subject, and “I have done tons of hard woked, generated massive sales” has an incomplete or awkwardly joined structure. In “I have learnt … and also managing sales people,” the verb forms are not parallel; use “and managed salespeople.” There are also missing spaces after commas and a run-on feel in places. Check sentence completeness, parallel verb forms, and punctuation when editing.

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