Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing this letter to request a transfer to another department within the company. As you know I have been working here from 2 years, and I heve gained a valuable experience and knowlwdge in this department.

I have always enjoyed working in my department but now I want to move to different department for more exposure and knowledge. In my opinion it will be also very beneficial for the company as well since I have gained good knowledge about marketing, I can confidently say that I am one of the deserving candidate in this department. You will never get any complaints from my side. Moreover, my skills will be very beneficial to enhance the profit of the company.

Furthermore, I really do not want to leave this company since I have been working here from 2 years it feels like my second home to me, the employees working here are very helpful.They always encourage each other and try to make good ambience at work place.

I would really appreciate your time and consideration.

Yours sincerely

Karandeep Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The letter makes the main purpose clear: you request a transfer and explain that you want further exposure and development while remaining with the company. You also address what you have learned, mentioning knowledge of marketing, and give reasons for staying, such as feeling that the company is a “second home” and valuing supportive colleagues. However, the benefits to the company are asserted more than explained: being a “deserving candidate” and enhancing profit do not show specifically how your experience would help the new department. The learning point is also brief. Develop these ideas with a concrete example of skills gained and how you would apply them in the proposed department, and make the request more specific.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter is organised into clear paragraphs, with the request and background first, the transfer and company benefits next, and your reasons for staying afterwards. This gives the reader a coherent overall progression. Linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” help signal additions, and the closing is appropriate. To make the organisation more effective, avoid relying on connectors to join ideas that could be developed more directly. For example, the second paragraph moves from wanting “more exposure” to claiming you are a deserving candidate and then to company profit without explaining the links. Separate the benefits to the company from your personal suitability, and use clearer references to the department you hope to join.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “transfer,” “department,” “career development,” “skills,” and “employees,” so the message is understandable. There are also attempts at more formal expressions such as “I would really appreciate your time and consideration.” However, some wording is imprecise or unnatural, including “gained a valuable experience,” “good ambience at work place,” and “You will never get any complaints from my side.” Spelling errors such as “heve” and “knowlwdge” are noticeable, and repeated use of “knowledge” and “beneficial” limits variety. Choose more natural collocations and proofread spelling; for instance, explain that your experience could contribute to a specific team or business outcome rather than making a broad claim about profit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple sentences and longer structures, such as the sentence beginning “Furthermore, I really do not want to leave this company since…”. The intended meaning is generally clear, but errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries occur often enough to affect accuracy. For example, “I have been working here from 2 years” should use “for two years,” and “one of the deserving candidate” needs a plural noun. In “I want to move to different department,” an article is missing. The long sentence about not leaving also needs clearer punctuation or division into shorter sentences. Practise accurate time expressions and article use, and check agreement when using phrases such as “one of the…”.

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