Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Andy,

I am writing this letter to discuss my job position in our company and also want to change my departmant and job position.

I joined this company in 2023 and it has been more than two years to working as a Payroll Clark. Through this journey, I gained a valuable experince and knowldge in accounts department.

Now, I want to apply for billing Department and continues my journey with company . This will help me get more achivements and opportitines in future and also open the new doors in this field.

I want to remain in this company as the enviournment is suitiable for me and I already maked a links .

I hope to hearing from you Soon.

Your faithfully,

Harvinderpreet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the purpose of the letter and mention your two years in the payroll role, what you have learned, your interest in the billing department, and your wish to stay with the company. However, the required points are only partly addressed: the benefit to the company is not explained, and your reasons for staying are brief and unclear. The response is also below the required 150 words, so there is little space to develop these ideas. To strengthen the letter, explain how your payroll and accounts experience could help the billing team, and give a fuller reason for remaining with this employer. A more complete response to each bullet point would make your purpose clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter follows a recognisable sequence: you introduce your request, describe your current experience, state your preferred move, and explain why you want to stay. The greeting and closing also suit a letter to a manager. However, the ideas are compressed into short paragraphs, and the progression between them is sometimes abrupt. For example, “Now, I want to apply for billing Department” moves directly to personal benefits without explaining the company’s benefit. Some linking is also awkward, as in “and also want to change.” Use clearer transitions and organise the content around the three requested points, with a separate, developed paragraph for the proposed transfer and its value to the company.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “Payroll Clerk,” “accounts department,” “billing Department,” and “career” ideas such as “achievements” and “opportunities.” This gives the reader a basic understanding of your request. However, the range is limited, and several spelling errors or imprecise expressions make the letter less clear, including “departmant,” “experince,” “knowldge,” and “opportitines.” “I already maked a links” is also an unnatural way to describe relationships at work. Check spelling carefully and choose more precise collocations, such as “professional relationships” or “contribute to the billing team.” Consistent capitalisation of department names would also improve presentation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses mostly simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to connect ideas using “and” and “as.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent errors in verb forms, sentence construction, and articles affect accuracy. For example, “I joined this company in 2023 and it has been more than two years to working” needs a clearer tense and structure, while “I hope to hearing from you” should use the infinitive form after “hope.” The opening sentence also joins “I am writing” and “want” without a matching subject structure. Practise accurate present-perfect forms and infinitive patterns, and proofread each sentence for a complete, consistent grammatical structure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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