Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Human Resources Team,

Hi, I hope you are doing well. I am xxx from the Department of yyy with an employee ID ZZZ. I am really grateful for the beautiful 2 years of being assosiated to this company. I would like to highlight the things I learned in the past two years. Firstly, I am grateful for the opportunity given by this esteemed organization, because this is my first job experience. Being a fresher, I have evolved over the years. I started as a naive fresher and now I have become a confident analyst. Over the two years, I have become a good team player, where I have learned about overall management of a team. I have also become more committed to my work and proactively finishing the works before dealdines. But after these, two years, I have thought deeply and decided to move to another team, keeping my futuristic career goals in mind. I believe moving me to the marketing team would highly improve the sales of the product. Working on the development team had made me learn about the product and their effects, therefore, this experience will enhance my skills in promoting the products and this will eventually improve the revenue.I look forward for the possible internal transfer because moving to a newer company would be a long process and requires newer learning which would be a risky move at this job market, therefore I would like to consier me for the the internal availablity of this post .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address all three requested points: you describe learning to become a confident analyst and team player, propose a move to marketing, and explain that you prefer to remain with the company. The link between your development-team experience and promoting the product is relevant, but the expected benefit to the company is asserted rather than clearly supported; explain more specifically how your product knowledge could help marketing campaigns or sales. Your reason for staying is also less convincing as written: focusing on the risks and learning involved in joining a new company does not fully show what you value about this employer. The request for an internal transfer is present, though the letter would be more effective with a clearer, more professional closing and a direct request to discuss the opportunity.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The ideas follow a broadly sensible order: you introduce yourself, describe what you have learned, explain the proposed move, and give a reason for staying. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, so the main stages of the letter are not clearly separated. Several transitions also feel mechanical or unclear, such as “Firstly,” followed by “But after these, two years,” and “therefore” appearing repeatedly near the end. The final sentence combines the transfer request and your reason for staying, making the conclusion difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for your experience, the company’s benefit, and your reasons for remaining, then connect them with simpler, more precise transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for the topic, including “confident analyst,” “team player,” “career goals,” and “internal transfer.” These choices communicate your main points, and some workplace language is appropriate. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “beautiful 2 years,” “associated to this company,” “finishing the works,” and “internal availability of this post.” Spelling errors such as “assosiated,” “dealdines,” and “consier” also reduce the overall accuracy. The phrase “futuristic career goals” does not express the intended meaning naturally. Aim for standard professional expressions and check spelling carefully; this will make your message clearer and more suitable for a letter to a manager.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and several sentences communicate your meaning clearly, such as “Being a fresher, I have evolved over the years.” You also attempt to explain cause and effect with clauses beginning “because” and “therefore.” Some grammatical errors remain, but they generally do not prevent understanding. For example, “the product and their effects” has unclear agreement and reference, while “I look forward for” uses an incorrect preposition in the verb pattern. The final sentence is difficult to control because several ideas are joined together, and “the the” is repeated. Review verb patterns, pronoun reference, and punctuation, and divide long sentences when they contain multiple points.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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