Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.0)

D.ear sir

I am writing to bring to your attention towards my job promotion. I want to move to a different department in the your same company.

I am work as retailer in your company. I am learned so many good things like how to conversate with customer or how to deal with customer. my computer skills are also good.

I want to work as a salesperson in the company. I receive several benefits from this department. First and foremost, my salary would be increased as well as I get medical health benefits. For example, dental checkup and all body test free for annually.

I recently take my own apartment near the company, hardly 5 to 7 minutes away from my job. Moreover, the workers are not only have friendly behaviour but also very helpfull.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Arwinder Singh

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You make a relevant request to move from retail work to sales and mention learning customer service and computer skills. You also give reasons for staying, including your nearby apartment and friendly, helpful colleagues. However, the letter does not fully address the task: the benefits you describe—higher salary and medical cover—are benefits to you, not how the company would benefit from transferring you. The request is also framed as a “job promotion,” which does not clearly explain your career-development goal. The response is 139 words, below the 150-word minimum, and this limits the space available to develop the required points. Explain how your current skills would help the sales department and why you want to remain with this employer specifically.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The letter follows a recognisable sequence: it introduces the request, describes current skills, gives reasons for the proposed move, and closes politely. Paragraph breaks help separate these points, and “First and foremost” and “Moreover” signal additions. However, the progression is not consistently clear because the paragraph about benefits focuses on what you would receive rather than the company’s gains, and the connection between your apartment, colleagues, and decision to stay could be made more explicit. Some linking is mechanical, with “Moreover” simply adding another reason. To improve, organise the body around the three task points and use clear transitions that show how each detail supports your request.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough relevant vocabulary to communicate the general topic, including “different department,” “computer skills,” “salesperson,” and “medical health benefits.” There is some variation in how you describe your experience and reasons for staying. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “bring to your attention towards my job promotion,” “conversate with customer,” and “all body test free for annually.” “Retailer” may also not clearly describe your role if you mean a shop assistant. These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended meaning. Aim for precise workplace expressions and check spelling and word forms; for example, describe customer-service experience and annual health checks using standard collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including “First and foremost, my salary would be increased as well as I get…” and “the workers are not only have friendly behaviour but also very helpfull.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors in verb forms, agreement, or sentence construction. Examples include “I am work,” “I am learned,” “I recently take,” and “the workers are not only have.” Articles and prepositions are also problematic in phrases such as “in the your same company.” These errors can make parts of the letter difficult to follow. Practise accurate past and present forms, and build longer sentences from correctly formed clauses before adding connectors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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