Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to inform you of my keen interest in the position of Merchandiser. I saw the advertisement on our company's online portal. I find it considerably relevant and aligned with my current job duties.

Currently, I am working as a store merchandiser; in this role, I have had numerous opportunities to enhance my communication skills and corporate norms.

Moreover, I believe this new position will be beneficial for the organisation as well; I have gained expertise in both my soft and hard skills. A merchandiser should be aware of pitching the new product and know inventory. As a store merchandiser, my focus was driving sales and monitoring live inventory. I am also familiar with store layout and product navigation. I believe I am the perfect match for the Position. Additionally, I am planning to apply to other industries, apart from your company, perhaps , I am optimisitc fot this position and do not wish to leave the organisation due to the sense of job satisfaction, effecient work atmosphere and easy access to day offs with other benefits. I am waiting for your response.

Thanking You

Yours Faithfuly

Rohit Bhardwaj

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You explain what you have learned in your current role, mentioning communication skills, workplace norms, sales, inventory, and store layout. You also give a reason for staying, referring to job satisfaction and the work atmosphere. However, the letter does not clearly follow the situation: it refers to an advertised “position of Merchandiser” rather than requesting a move to a different department, and it does not identify the department you want to join. The company benefit is asserted but not fully explained; connect your store experience to specific contributions you could make in the new department. Your reason for remaining is also weakened by saying you are planning to apply to other industries. Make your request and commitment to the company clear, then develop each point with relevant detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The letter has a recognisable opening, body, and closing, and phrases such as “Moreover” and “Additionally” signal relationships between ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several different purposes are combined in one long paragraph: your experience, the company’s benefit, your suitability, and your plans to apply elsewhere. The sentence beginning “Additionally, I am planning to apply…” is especially confusing, as it conflicts with your stated wish to stay and runs into your reasons for staying. Use separate paragraphs for your experience, the proposed transfer and its benefits, and your commitment to the company. Clearer links between these sections would make the message easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of workplace vocabulary, including “communication skills,” “inventory,” “store layout,” and “job satisfaction,” which helps convey your experience. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “beneficial for the organisation.” However, some choices are inaccurate or awkward, including “corporate norms,” “pitching the new product,” and “easy access to day offs.” Spelling errors such as “optimisitc,” “effecient,” and “Faithfuly” also reduce accuracy. Choose expressions that fit the intended meaning—for example, describe presenting or promoting products, and refer to paid leave or days off. More precise collocations would make your professional tone more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more developed sentence forms, including the relative clause in “a merchandiser should be aware of pitching the new product and know inventory.” Most of the message remains understandable, but control becomes less reliable in longer sentences. The sentence beginning “Additionally, I am planning…” contains several ideas joined without clear grammatical boundaries, and the phrase “I am waiting for your response” is less suitable as a closing construction than a direct request for a reply. Capitalisation is inconsistent in “Position,” and punctuation around “perhaps” is faulty. Break long sentences into shorter units, check clause boundaries and punctuation, and use consistent capitalisation to improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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