Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Mr.makkar,

I am writing this letter to express my concern about my career in different department of our company.

I am Shweta, one of the employees of your esteemed organization. Currently,I am working as junior engineer here I have been for the last two years. However, I was gain a lot of confidence regarding my work and I also won price last year for the best Engineer project.Moreover, I have learnt about basic knowledge of team leading .

I would appreciate it if you could moved me to senior post and I will definitely assure that I will be the best team leader and will be able to built high reputation of our company.

As I worked here from long time and I would appreciate the work environment here because all the members of the office are very cooperative and intelligent.Also with the help of great mentors I was able to learn lot of things owing to which I don't want to leave this place.

Thank you for your kind consideration and look forward for your positive response.

Yours sincerely,

Shweta .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You include the main elements of a formal request: you describe your two years as a junior engineer, mention gaining confidence and learning about team leadership, and explain that supportive colleagues and mentors make you want to stay. However, the response addresses the task only partially because the proposed move is not clearly to a different department: asking to be moved to a “senior post” suggests promotion instead. The benefit to the company is also asserted rather than explained; “I will be the best team leader” gives little detail about how your experience would help the new department. State the department you want to join and connect your existing skills to a specific contribution there.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a recognisable structure, with an opening, paragraphs for your experience and request, reasons for staying, and a closing. This gives the reader some organisation. However, progression between ideas is not always clear: the opening refers to “my career in different department,” while the request later shifts to a “senior post,” leaving the purpose uncertain. Linking words such as “However,” “Moreover,” and “Also” are used, but some connections feel mechanical or do not express the intended relationship. Improve the flow by giving each paragraph one clear purpose and using transitions that show how your experience supports the proposed transfer and benefits the company.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, including “junior engineer,” “team leading,” “reputation,” and “mentors,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at formal phrasing, such as “I would appreciate it if” and “kind consideration.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “express my concern about my career in different department,” “won price,” and “basic knowledge of team leading.” These reduce precision and make parts of the letter sound less natural. Choose vocabulary that directly describes a transfer and your contribution, and check common collocations and spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, for example the sentence beginning “As I worked here from long time” and the explanation of what you have learned. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “I was gain a lot of confidence,” “I would appreciate it if you could moved me,” and “I will be able to built,” where verb forms are incorrect. There are also problems with articles and sentence boundaries, as in “working as junior engineer here I have been.” Practise accurate past and modal verb patterns, and separate or punctuate clauses clearly so your request is easy to understand.

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