Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to request your assistance concerning about career development to shift to a another department in the your organisation and I would be grateful for your prompt attention to this matter.

As you know that I have been working in this organisation since last 2 years by which I improved myself in various task categories such as maintaining the day to day work record,project completion and to supervise field work with workers.

Furthermore, I want to learn something new which could help me in further progress in future and this organisation can give me chance to shift in coordinator department where I could learn advance and also beneficial for increasing my salary package according to my result that I will give my company.

Although,I am getting more offers from other companies also as I am well experienced in my job but this company more advance having cool environment to learn and enhance skills and that is only reason .I do not want leave this job and want to be part of this well known company.

I would be grateful if you could consider my request and provide a response at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely,

Anjana Dogra

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your purpose clear: you request a transfer, describe skills gained in your current role, and explain that you want to remain with the company. The examples of keeping work records, completing projects and supervising field work make your experience relevant. However, the benefit to the company is less fully explained: you mainly say the move would help you learn and increase your salary, rather than showing how your experience would contribute to the coordinator department or the organisation. Your reason for staying—its learning environment and opportunities to enhance your skills—is relevant, but could be developed with a more specific example. Clarifying these points would make the request more persuasive and complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall structure: the opening states your request, the following paragraphs cover your experience and reasons, and the closing politely asks for a response. Paragraphing helps the reader follow the main stages. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore” and “Although” show attempts to connect ideas, but some connections are not fully logical or are awkwardly placed. For example, “Although, I am getting more offers…” does not clearly contrast with the reason that follows, and the long sentence about the coordinator department combines learning, salary and company benefit without a clear progression. Use transitions that express the intended relationship and separate distinct points into shorter sentences to make the organisation smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of workplace vocabulary, including “career development,” “supervise field work,” “coordinator department” and “enhance skills,” so the topic is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “I would be grateful” and “at your earliest convenience.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “concerning about career development,” “various task categories,” “learn advance,” and “this company more advance.” These reduce precision and make parts of the letter less natural. Aim for standard workplace expressions and check whether verbs and nouns combine naturally; for example, describe the skills you have developed and the contribution you could make in the new department.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “which could help me in further progress” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the letter. Examples include “I have been working … since last 2 years,” “I want leave this job,” and “I would be grateful if you could consider … and provide a response,” where the first two need more accurate tense or verb patterns and the final sentence would benefit from clearer parallel structure. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “a another department” and the run-on punctuation around “Although.” Review articles, infinitive patterns and punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a complete, well-formed structure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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