Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sam,

I am writing this email regarding internal transfer in diffrent deparment for my career development.

As you know, curruntly I am working as a merchandiser. I have been doing this job since last two years and I feel like I have gained good amount of knowledge about products. I have also helped many customers to find out goods or solve their problems.

I am really intrested to work in Front End as a Cashier in order to develop more communication skill. I believe that while working as a cashier, I will have to deal with diffrent types of customers which will develop my skills such as problem solving, team work, accuracy etc. Besides that, I can also help on cash when our store gets busy to reduce line up.

I would like to stay with this organisation because of reputation in retail industry, care towards worker and importantly training that we get about how to satisfy customer's needs.

I would be greateful if you could transfer me in cashier role to develop my personal skills as well as company's benefits.

Waiting for your positive responce.

Thanks and Regards,

Om

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three points and maintain a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe what you have learned as a merchandiser, request a cashier role, and explain why you want to remain with the company. The benefits are relevant, especially helping during busy periods and reducing queues. Your explanation of what you have learned is less fully developed, however: product knowledge and helping customers are mentioned, but a specific example or clearer link to skills gained would strengthen it. The reasons for staying—reputation, care for workers, and training—are also listed rather than expanded. The letter already has a clear position and relevant support; to make it more complete, develop these points with a little more detail and connect the transfer more explicitly to the company’s needs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter is organised into clear paragraphs, with each paragraph serving a distinct purpose: your current experience, the transfer request and its benefits, and your reasons for staying. This gives the reader a coherent overall progression. Linking phrases such as “Besides that” and “because of” help connect ideas, although some transitions feel formulaic, and the final request repeats the purpose already stated at the beginning. The closing phrases are understandable but could be integrated more smoothly with the request. To strengthen the flow further, use a more varied range of links and make the progression from your current skills to the proposed role and company benefit more explicit. Overall, the organisation is clear, though cohesion is not consistently flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points, including relevant workplace terms such as “merchandiser,” “cashier,” “customers,” and “training.” However, the range is limited, and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce the polish of the letter: “diffrent,” “curruntly,” “intrested,” “greateful,” and “responce.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “help on cash” and “reduce line up.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding your request, but they make the language less natural. Aim to check spelling carefully and use more precise workplace collocations, for example, describing how you could “support the checkout team during busy periods” and “reduce queues.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more developed sentence forms, including the conditional structure “I believe that while working as a cashier, I will have to deal with…” and the purpose phrase “in order to develop…”. Most ideas remain clear, and grammatical errors rarely obstruct meaning. Some sentence patterns need more accurate control: “I have been doing this job since last two years” uses an incorrect time expression, and “develop more communication skill” has an issue with number and article use. The sentence beginning “I would be grateful if you could transfer me…” is a suitable polite request, though the wording around the role could be made more precise. Continue practising time expressions, articles, and plural forms while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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