Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to request you to shift me to upper level or to different department in your company as i am working as a junior accountant for the last two years.

Although, I have learned numerous of skills at this position that i quite enjoyed well. But i think it is a time when i should upgrade myself. It would not only great for my personal growth but also for the overall development of the organization.

If i talk about the benefit for the company, the significant impact would be my expertise, that i will use in the other department. I will work with more dedication and determination in the new role.

As you know, working in your esteemed corporation was my dream and I want to continue working here in the future. Because i see all the potential this coompany can provide me can which will help me to grow professionally and personally.

I hope you would consider my request and upgrade my level by shifting me to a different department.

Your Sincerely,

Khushpreet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address all three requested points: you identify your current role and two years of experience, mention skills gained, explain that a move could support your development, and state that you want to remain with the company. However, the key ideas are not developed evenly. “Numerous of skills” does not specify what you have learned, and the company’s benefit is mainly asserted through “my expertise” and your dedication rather than linked to a particular contribution in the new department. The request to move “to upper level or to different department” is also not fully focused. Add concrete examples of skills and explain how they would help the receiving team; make the requested transfer clear and specific.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a recognisable structure: an opening request, separate paragraphs about your learning and the company’s benefit, a reason for staying, and a closing request. This makes the main purpose easy to follow. Some connections between ideas are less controlled, however. “Although” begins a sentence that is not completed as a contrast, followed by “But,” and the paragraph about staying starts with “Because,” leaving the reason grammatically dependent. The repeated references to growth also make progression feel somewhat circular. Use complete sentences and clearer links between your experience, the value you could bring to another department, and your wish to stay.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some appropriate formal and workplace-related language, including “career development,” “expertise,” “dedication,” and “professionally.” These choices communicate your intentions, but the range is uneven and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “numerous of skills,” “upgrade my level,” and “I quite enjoyed well.” “Esteemed corporation” sounds overly elaborate for a direct letter to a manager, while “upper level” is vague. Spelling errors such as “coompany” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural collocations that explain your experience and request, rather than relying on general claims about growth.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, for example “It would not only great for my personal growth but also for the overall development of the organization.” However, some complex constructions are faulty, and errors in sentence structure and verb forms recur. In that example, the verb “be” is missing; “Although, I have learned…” is not correctly joined to the following contrast; and “Because i see…” is a dependent clause used as a sentence. There are also inconsistent capitalisation choices for “I” and punctuation issues. These problems do not prevent the reader from understanding your main request, but they limit grammatical control. Practise complete clauses and accurate contrast structures, then proofread for verb forms and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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