Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr. Sumit,

I am writing this to draw your attention to a recent concern on my permotion to a seprate department with in the comapny.

In my current job position, I am working as a Senior sales executive from past two years with my complete effecency as a reward I have been recognised by some top achivements which I will discuss further. I have learned a lot from my present job and got a chance to polish my skills like effective communication, positive leadership qualities and advanced sales methods.

However, I like my profession and this company as well where I am working with positive personalities and great mentors like you and I also want to grow within the same environment. Therefore, last week I got an offer from Relationship department to join them as a senior manager and I think this is the time I was waiting for. This placement will be helpful for company as well n better productivity and excelency and I assure you this.

Furthermore, as I mentioned the environment in the firm is so positive an i like it working will all of my collegues I would like to work with them further as well.

I kindly request you to allow my transffer and If you need any additional details I am happy to assist. Thank you.

Yours sincerely

Rajat Sharma

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points and maintain a clear purpose: you describe skills gained in sales, explain how a move could benefit the company, and state why you want to remain there. The examples of “effective communication,” leadership, and sales methods make your learning relevant, while your appreciation of the company’s mentors and colleagues explains your wish to stay. However, the benefit to the company is asserted rather than developed: “better productivity” and “excelency” would be more convincing if linked to how your sales experience would help the Relationship Department. The new role and offer are mentioned, but the request for a transfer could be connected more clearly to your career development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a recognisable structure, with an opening, paragraphs covering your experience and reasons for staying, and a closing request. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Therefore,” and “Furthermore” help signal relationships between ideas. At times, though, the progression is not fully smooth: the offer from the Relationship Department appears after a paragraph about staying, and the final paragraph repeats that you like the company’s environment and colleagues. Some connections are also unclear, particularly “as a reward” and “This placement will be helpful for company.” Grouping the transfer proposal and its benefits together, then giving your reasons for staying in a separate paragraph, would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “Senior sales executive,” “leadership qualities,” “sales methods,” and “Relationship department,” so the reader can understand the professional context. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “I kindly request.” However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations are noticeable, including “permotion,” “effecency,” “top achivements,” and “positive personalities.” Phrases such as “with my complete efficiency” and “better productivity and excelency” do not express your meaning naturally. Choose accurate, conventional workplace expressions and proofread spelling; this would make your message more precise and professional without changing its content.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more extended sentence forms, for example the sentence beginning “I have learned a lot from my present job” and the longer explanation of your offer and reasons for moving. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in sentence construction and punctuation. “I am working as a Senior sales executive from past two years” needs a more accurate tense and time expression, while “I like it working will all of my collegues” has an incorrect structure. The sentence beginning “This placement will be helpful” also lacks a clear grammatical connection to the following assurance. Check articles, prepositions, verb forms, and sentence boundaries, especially in longer sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.