Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir

This letter is to request you that i want to move to a different department but in this same company.

As i have been working for the last two years in this company and I had good experience in this company, as i enjoyed my job, it helps me a lot to improve my communication skills, in making better business deals, but i would like to move in marketing department to develop my ideas and skills. And i want to share my experience with my colleagues which helps to improve the productivity of the company.

I want to continue in this same company but in different position because i have very good employer, colleagues and experience here so i don't want to transfer in any other company.

I would like to request you to transfer me in marketing department it will be beneficial for me as well as for the company, as i am very potential and enthusiastic in marketing.

I am looking forward for your positive response as soon as possible.

Yours Sincerely

Salma.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your request clear: you want to move to marketing, explain that your current role has developed your communication and business-deal skills, and say you wish to remain with the company because of your positive experience with its people. The potential benefit to the company is also mentioned through sharing your experience and improving productivity. However, this benefit is asserted rather than explained—for example, you could show how your current skills would help the marketing team or support specific company goals. The reason for staying is relevant but could be more persuasive if you described what you value about the company. Overall, the task is covered, though some ideas need fuller development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a recognisable structure: it opens with the request, gives background about your current role, explains why you want to stay, and closes with a further request. Paragraphing helps separate these points. However, the progression is not always smooth. The long second paragraph combines what you learned, your interest in marketing, and the company benefit, making the relationships between ideas harder to follow. Connectors such as “as” are repeated and sometimes create unclear links, while the final request repeats information already given. Use shorter, more focused paragraphs and clearer transitions—for example, introduce your experience first, then explain how it could benefit the marketing department.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main purpose, with relevant terms such as “communication skills,” “business deals,” “productivity,” and “marketing department.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, including “request you that,” “move in marketing department,” and “very good employer.” Repetition of “company,” “experience,” and “different” also reduces variety. Choose more natural workplace expressions, such as “request a transfer to the marketing department” and “contribute to the team’s productivity.” More precise vocabulary would help you explain your skills and the company’s benefit clearly, while maintaining a suitably professional tone throughout the letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, and the main message is generally understandable. However, complex sentences are often difficult to control. For example, “as i have been working … and I had good experience …, as i enjoyed my job, it helps me…” combines several clauses without a clear grammatical structure. There are also errors with articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries: “in this same company” and “it helps me” do not fit smoothly with the surrounding past-tense account. Capitalisation of “I” and punctuation around the greeting and closing also need attention. Build accuracy by separating related ideas into complete sentences and checking tense consistency, articles, and punctuation.

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