Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir Pangilinan,

I am writing this letter to request for a career development opportunity in engineering department at PLDT. For the two years of existence, I am highly confident to have a better career on a new department opened in your company. Whereas, my skills and experience are perfect fit for the standard and qualifications of the team.

I have learned those experiences in the plant department, liked collaboration and teamwork as a team that makes myself to find difficult situations and problems solved immediately. Moving to another department it gives me another opportunity to show up more my knowledge and skills, where I can apply my profession as an Electronics engineer.

I have been so loved and trained to this company, so I wanted to end my career here. This company have influenced my family, I have really appreciated the love and support given.

Please let me know, when I am going to move to Engineering department as soon as possible. Thank you so much for your valuable time to read this.

Your Employee,

Engr. Christian Kenneth Idio

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The letter addresses the three requested points: it refers to learning teamwork in the plant department, proposes a move to Engineering, and explains a wish to remain with the company. However, these points are only partly developed. The benefit to the company is not made explicit: saying you could “show up more my knowledge and skills” focuses on your own opportunity rather than explaining how the department or company would gain. The reason for staying is also quite general, with appreciation for the company’s support but little detail about why this makes you want to continue there. The request is clear, though the opening and closing could be more appropriately tailored to a manager. Add specific examples of skills learned and how they would help the new team.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable letter structure, with an opening request, paragraphs covering experience and motivation, and a closing. The main ideas are generally grouped by topic, so the reader can follow the overall purpose. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first paragraph moves from the request to confidence and then to qualifications without clearly linking these points. Connectors such as “Whereas” do not express the relationship intended, and “Moving to another department it gives me” makes the transition difficult to follow. The final request repeats the move without summarising the case. Use clearer paragraph development and straightforward links such as “In my current role…” and “This experience would benefit the Engineering team by…”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The letter uses relevant workplace vocabulary, including “career development,” “collaboration,” “teamwork,” “skills,” and “qualifications,” which helps communicate its purpose. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning unclear. For example, “two years of existence” does not naturally describe time in a job, while “perfect fit for the standard” and “show up more my knowledge” are not idiomatic expressions. “I have been so loved and trained” also does not clearly convey the intended appreciation for the company’s support. Choose precise, conventional workplace phrases and check how words combine; this will make the request sound more professional and easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including “I am writing this letter to request…” and a sentence beginning “Whereas.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, and articles frequently affect clarity. For instance, “I am highly confident to have a better career” has an awkward grammatical pattern, and “Moving to another department it gives me” contains an unnecessary subject structure. In “This company have influenced my family,” the subject and verb do not agree. The sentence about learning experiences in the plant department is also difficult to parse because several ideas are joined without a clear grammatical structure. Build accurate short sentences first, then add subordinate clauses once the basic sentence pattern is secure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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