Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mrs Boateng,

I hope you are doing well. It's been two years since I started working at Affy Textile place. I have worked in the accounting department since my employment and it has been such a great experience working with a dedicated and hardworking team. Working in this unit has taught me how to appropriately manage funds, take calculated risks and make informed financial decisions. I believe these skills and experience will remain useful in my personal development and career growth.

I recently completed my masters degree in advanced marketing and business operations. For this reason, I would like to request a transfer to the company's marketing unit, so that I can put my marketing skills into practice and I believe I have the necessary skills to function effectively in this department.

Even though I am interested in taking my career a step further, I would love to remain in this institution, so that I can positively contribute to its development. This is because, the company has impacted my personal and professional life in a positive way.

Thank you for your continued support and I would be very happy if my request is considered.

Yours faithfully,

Mariam

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address all three requested points: you describe learning to “manage funds” and make “informed financial decisions,” request a move to marketing, and explain that you wish to remain because the company has positively affected your professional life. The purpose is clear and the tone is appropriately respectful. However, the benefits to the company are not explained in enough detail: saying you have the skills to work effectively does not show specifically how your accounting experience and marketing qualification would help the department or company. Your reason for staying is also quite general. Develop these points with concrete examples, such as how financial knowledge could support marketing budgets or improve campaign planning, to make the letter more fully persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter is arranged in a clear sequence: your experience and learning come first, followed by the transfer request and then your reason for staying. Paragraphing helps the reader distinguish these points, and links such as “For this reason” and “Even though” make the relationships between ideas clear. This gives the response a coherent overall progression. To make the organisation more flexible and polished, connect the transfer request more directly to the company’s benefit rather than presenting your qualification mainly as a personal reason. The final paragraph could also develop the reason for staying before moving to the closing request, so the ending feels less abrupt.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of vocabulary for a formal workplace letter, including “calculated risks,” “informed financial decisions,” “career growth,” and “contribute to its development.” These choices communicate your experience and intentions clearly, and some phrases show awareness of professional style. There are, however, a few less natural or imprecise expressions, such as “Affy Textile place,” “in this institution,” and “take my career a step further.” More precise company and department language would make the letter sound more fluent and professional. You could also use vocabulary that explicitly describes the value you would bring, such as applying financial insight to marketing budgets or campaign decisions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0

You demonstrate a good range of sentence forms, including complex structures such as “Even though I am interested in taking my career a step further, I would love to remain…” and the purpose clause “so that I can put my marketing skills into practice.” Most sentences are clear and grammatically controlled, and the reader can follow your meaning without difficulty. A few errors remain in punctuation and sentence-level accuracy. For example, the comma after “This is because” is unnecessary, and “masters degree” needs an apostrophe in “master’s degree.” Review punctuation around introductory clauses and possessive forms, while continuing to use varied sentence structures.

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