Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

Good afternoon, sir. I hope everything is going well and you are in sound health. I am writing this email to express my urge to be transfered to a different department for my career enhancement. I have been working as a welder for about 2 years now and I am preety confident about the welding techniques. However, fitting is the area where I am lacking and want to be assigned for that specific job.

I started employment for the position of welder and I have been doing welding using MIG and Stick methods to join steel parts. As I gained experience I even started doing overhead welds to join metal parts forever which has been great but I think it's not enough for both I and company.

By learning fitting both parties involved will be benefited, I will get insights on blueprint reading and proper techniques you join steel. As well, company will have increased amount of skilled workers who can perform several duties and can work independently which will directly impact on the growth of productivity.

Eventhough, I could have joined different plant and started working as fitter helper and gain experience. I believe in the vision of the company and I love to work where there is no office politics. These are the main factors that has been fuel forrise in my productivity and mental health.

At the end, I would like to mention that by changing departments, we will both get benefit out of it. That's why, please look into my request. I will be looking forward for your positive response.

Yours,

XYZ

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three points and make your request clear: you describe welding with MIG and Stick methods, explain that fitting would add skills such as blueprint reading, and give reasons for staying with the company. The benefit to the employer—having more versatile workers—is relevant, while your experience and confidence establish what you have learned. Some points are less fully developed: the learning section focuses mainly on techniques rather than broader skills or responsibilities, and the reasons for remaining, especially the reference to “no office politics,” could be explained more professionally and specifically. The closing repeats the mutual benefit rather than adding support. More precise examples of your contribution and a clearer career-development rationale would strengthen the letter further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: it introduces the transfer request, describes your current work, explains the potential benefit, and gives reasons for staying before closing. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and phrases such as “As I gained experience” and “At the end” signal progression. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. “By learning fitting both parties involved will be benefited” does not smoothly connect your training to the company’s gains, and “Eventhough” introduces a contrast that is not fully developed. The final paragraph also repeats the earlier mutual-benefit point. Use clearer transitions and make each paragraph advance a distinct part of your case to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “welder,” “MIG and Stick methods,” “overhead welds,” “blueprint reading,” and “skilled workers,” which makes the subject clear. There are also attempts at more formal expressions such as “career enhancement” and “productivity.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “express my urge,” “join metal parts forever,” and “fuel forrise in my productivity.” Spelling errors such as “transfered,” “preety,” and “Eventhough” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural, precise phrases rather than formal-sounding wording: for example, say “request a transfer” and “contribute to higher productivity.” Proofreading would help make your vocabulary more reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including “As I gained experience I even started doing overhead welds” and “I believe in the vision of the company.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. In “it’s not enough for both I and company,” the pronoun and article are incorrect; “both the company and me” would fit the structure. “I will get insights on blueprint reading and proper techniques you join steel” is missing a grammatical link, while “These are the main factors that has been fuel” has an agreement error. Review pronoun forms, articles, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen the letter.

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