Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are you great. I am writting this letter to you for requesting about changing my department in your company as it been two years working in same department and it is esstianial for carrer growth also. I had learnt so many things like managing excel sheets, making stats and so many other thing at current postion.

Moving Further, will help me give me exposer of new things that will benefits to me in future as well as to company also. The company needs a employee that can help them in making new statgeries for company growth. As i had been working here from past two years so, i know a company very well and I can help in company growth.

However, there are so many companies are in market that are offering me a good amount of pay for working with them, I really enjoyed working in this because the staff here is very friendly and company offer the oppurtunities likes development in your computer skills and help to learn many other tasks free of cost.

Your Sincerley,

Thomas Edward

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points: you describe learning to manage spreadsheets and prepare statistics, explain that your experience could help the company, and give reasons for staying, including friendly staff and development opportunities. Your request to move departments is clear. However, the benefit to the company is not fully explained: the reference to creating “new strategies” is broad, and you could show how your current skills would contribute to a specific department or goal. The reason for remaining is relevant, but the contrast with other companies’ pay could be connected more clearly to your commitment to this employer. Develop these points with concrete examples and a more explicit request for a transfer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a recognisable progression: it introduces the transfer request, describes your experience, discusses the company’s benefit, and explains why you want to stay. Paragraph breaks help separate these ideas, and linking expressions such as “Moving Further” and “However” signal transitions. At times, though, the connections feel mechanical or unclear. For example, “Moving Further” does not clearly link your experience to the company’s benefit, while “However” introduces the competing offers without fully clarifying the contrast. Some ideas are also crowded into long sentences. Use more natural transitions and organise each paragraph around one clear purpose, with references such as “these skills” clearly tied to the experience you have described.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “department,” “career growth,” “current position,” “staff,” and “opportunities,” so the main message is understandable. There are also attempts at more specific terms, such as “managing Excel sheets” and “making new strategies.” However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations are noticeable, including “writting,” “esstianial,” “exposer,” and “a good amount of pay.” Repetition of “company,” “help,” and “things” also limits precision. Choose standard professional expressions and check spelling carefully; for example, describe the skills you have gained and explain how they could be applied in another department rather than relying on general phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the reader can generally follow your request and reasons. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in sentence construction, verb forms, and articles. For instance, “I hope you are you great” contains an unnecessary repeated pronoun, and “as it been two years working in same department” is missing grammatical elements. In “Moving Further, will help me give me exposer,” the subject and verb pattern are unclear. The final sentence also joins several ideas without clear punctuation. Practise complete sentence patterns, including “I have been working…” and “the same department,” and divide long sentences so that each has a clear subject and verb.

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