Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing this letter to express my sincere interest in applying as a Senior Preschool Leader in another department. Over the past 8 years, I have been teaching and gaining knowledge about handling young learners with diverse cultures,backgrounds and even different strengths and weaknesses.

I believe I am highly qualified for the position because I just earned my Masters in Education with Specialization in Administration and Supervision. As such, I could say I am equipped and capable enough of supporting our junior teachers to become effective and efficient teachers that would be beneficial in our school. Apart from this, I am also good at human relations, and marketing strategies that would highly contribute to huge number of prospect enrollees in school.

I have been working in this company for nearly 10 years and I am truly grateful to be be part of this company. Throughout the years, you helped me grow professionally which made me decide to stay in this organization as long as you want me to.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Hannah Rosemarie L. Alicaya

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You cover the main purpose of the letter and give relevant reasons for seeking a move, including your master’s degree and ability to support junior teachers. You also explain your wish to remain with the company by expressing gratitude for the professional growth it has provided. However, the first required point is only partly addressed: you mention experience with young learners, but do not clearly describe what you have learned in your present job. The benefit to the company is also somewhat general; for example, “huge number of prospect enrollees” would be more convincing with a clearer explanation of how your skills would help achieve this. Develop these points more specifically and make the request for a transfer explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: you state your purpose, explain your qualifications and potential contribution, then give your reason for staying and close politely. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and phrases such as “Over the past” and “Apart from this” signal relationships between ideas. Some connections are less smooth, however. The move from your teaching experience to your qualifications could be linked more directly, and “As such” introduces a claim that is not fully explained. The final paragraph repeats the idea of staying without adding much detail. Use clearer links between your experience, the proposed role, and the company’s benefit, while keeping each paragraph focused on one purpose.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for a formal workplace letter, including “diverse cultures,” “Specialization in Administration and Supervision,” “supporting our junior teachers,” and “grow professionally.” These choices communicate your qualifications and intentions clearly, and some are appropriately specific to education. There are also a few awkward or imprecise expressions that limit naturalness, such as “applying as” and “huge number of prospect enrollees.” “Good at human relations” is understandable but broad, and “effective and efficient teachers” is somewhat repetitive. Aim for more precise professional collocations and avoid repeating similar meanings. This would make your case sound more fluent and persuasive without requiring a more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including the relative clause in “teachers that would be beneficial in our school” and the time clause beginning “Throughout the years.” Most sentences are understandable, and the grammar does not prevent the reader from following your message. Some errors remain: “I am good at human relations, and marketing strategies” has an unnecessary comma and an unclear grammatical relationship between the two items; “contribute to huge number” is missing an article; and “I am truly grateful to be be part” repeats the verb. The long sentence beginning “As such” also makes the relationship between your qualifications and the school’s benefit difficult to follow. Proofread for repeated words, articles, and sentence clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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