Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Rashid,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to request you that I want to shift myself from my current orthopedic physical therapy department to another ICU department.

Firstly, as you know that I have been working in the same physiotherapy department from last two years. I have learned many things such as how to make rehabilitation plan for patients after fracture or orthopedic surgery. Moreover, I have gained knowledge about different bone and soft tissue diseases.

Furthermore, I know by changing my department would be beneficial for my career development and organization as well because I have good academic record in subjects related to management of severely ill patients in Intensive Care Unit. Thus, I will handle patients easily and also make individualized treatment plan for patients having CABG and pulmonary issues.

In addition to this, I do not want to leave this hospital because, I think that it is good place for me to enhance my knowledge and expertise. Additionally, the experience of this healthcare company will be fruitful for me in future. So, I want to continue my job in this sector.

I hope you will consider my request and I am waiting for you prompt response.

Your's sincerely

Nosheen

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address all three points and maintain a clear, appropriate request throughout. You describe what you have learned, including rehabilitation planning and knowledge of bone and soft-tissue conditions, then explain how ICU experience could benefit both your development and the hospital. Your reason for staying is also clear: you value the opportunity to build expertise within the organisation. The specific reference to treating patients with CABG and pulmonary issues helps support your case. To make the ideas more fully developed, explain more directly how your physiotherapy skills would meet the ICU department’s needs or benefit its patients. A slightly more formal, tactful request would also strengthen the letter’s purpose and tone.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear progression: it opens with the request, describes your current learning, explains the potential benefit of a transfer, and gives your reason for remaining with the hospital. Paragraphing supports this sequence, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “In addition to this” make the relationships between points easy to follow. The closing also returns to your request. At times, however, the linking phrases feel somewhat formulaic, and “Furthermore” introduces a point that could be connected more explicitly to the benefit for the organisation. For stronger cohesion, use a few more natural transitions and make the links between your experience, the ICU role, and the hospital’s needs clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of work-related vocabulary, including “rehabilitation plan,” “orthopedic surgery,” “individualized treatment plan,” and “Intensive Care Unit.” These terms help communicate your experience and intended contribution, and the meaning remains clear. There is also some attempt at more formal language, such as “career development” and “expertise.” However, several phrases are not natural or precise in this context: “shift myself,” “good academic record in subjects related to management,” and “fruitful for me in future.” The letter would sound more fluent and professional with more accurate collocations and less repetition of “patients” and “department.” Aim to retain the relevant technical vocabulary while choosing more idiomatic expressions for the request and its benefits.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “that,” and most ideas can be understood without difficulty. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in sentence openings and verb patterns. For example, “I am writing this letter to request you that I want” has an incorrect construction; use “to request a transfer” or “to ask whether I could transfer.” In “I have been working … from last two years,” the time expression and preposition need correction, and “I know by changing my department would be beneficial” lacks a grammatical subject structure. There are also punctuation and article issues, such as the comma after “because” and “it is good place.” Review these patterns and check sentence boundaries to improve accuracy.

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