Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writting to inform you about the decison i made about changing the field of department for better carrer opportunities. I learnt a lot from my previous experience about task management,decison making and problem solving.I feel that i need more skills to do better for the company's development. I want to work for this company and this will help me to acquire more relia

knowledge and make me more reliable person.

Thankyou for your assistance and consideration,I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Faithfully

Sharanpreet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify a wish to move departments and mention learning task management, decision-making and problem-solving, so the letter is relevant to the situation. However, the task is addressed only partially: you do not explain how the company would benefit from your transfer, and your reason for staying is only briefly suggested by saying, “I want to work for this company.” The opening also presents the move as a decision already made rather than a request or proposal to your manager. The response is 90 words, so it does not meet the required minimum of 150; this leaves too little space to develop the three required points. Add specific examples of your skills, the value you could bring to another department, and why you want to remain with the company.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The letter has a recognisable opening, a short explanation and a polite closing, and the ideas about your experience and future development are broadly related. However, the response is very compressed and does not progress through the three requested points in a clear sequence. The transition from what you learned to wanting more skills, then to staying with the company, is abrupt; the benefit to the company is not developed. The long opening paragraph also combines several ideas without clear separation. Organise the letter into short paragraphs: first explain your current learning, then propose the transfer and its benefit, and finally explain your commitment to the company. This would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, including “task management,” “decision making,” “problem solving,” and “career opportunities,” which helps communicate the general topic. The range is nevertheless limited, and several spelling errors make the writing less polished: “writting,” “decison,” and “carrer.” Some expressions are also imprecise or incomplete, particularly “changing the field of department” and “acquire more relia knowledge,” which may make the intended meaning difficult to understand. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “transfer to another department,” “gain relevant experience,” and “contribute to the company’s development.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise workplace collocations would strengthen this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response communicates its basic message using mostly simple sentence patterns, and the sentence “I want to work for this company” is clear. There is an attempt to connect ideas with “and,” but the range of structures is narrow, and the long first sentence is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear grammatical boundaries. In “I feel that i need more skills to do better for the company's development,” the relationship between your skills and the company’s development is not expressed clearly. Capitalise the pronoun “I,” use full stops to separate complete ideas, and practise combining clauses with structures such as “By moving to…, I could…” and “I would like to remain because…”. These changes would improve clarity and control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.