Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear manager

Hi I am a employer of underwriting department I have learned a lot in my present destination in this company because of my skills and the environment provided in this company I have learnt what an underwriting officer have to do by practicing I have learnt to make policies of insurance of cars , bikes and other kind of motor vehicles

So now I would prefer to change my department to learn other skills and be the best to perform there like I was doing in my present position so my ability to work hard and efficiently will be beneficial for the company in other department

Although I like this company a lot because it is a place where I was able to judge my abilities and caliber to perform different sort of tasks and benefits that are provided by this company is better then my last company so I never think to quit job in this company

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the three main points: you describe learning to prepare insurance policies for vehicles, request a move to another department, and explain that you value the company and its benefits. The reason for staying is relevant, and your wish to develop new skills is clear. However, the benefit to the company is only briefly stated as your ability to work hard and efficiently; explain more specifically how your underwriting experience could help the new team. The learning point could also be developed with a concrete example of knowledge or responsibility gained. The letter’s purpose is understandable, but a more consistently professional tone and a clearer, more fully supported case would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The ideas follow a broadly sensible order: you discuss what you have learned, then request a transfer, and finally explain why you want to remain with the company. This gives the reader a basic overall structure. However, the response is presented as one continuous block, so the three points are not clearly separated into paragraphs. Some links, such as “So now” and “Although,” help show relationships, but the long sentences make the progression harder to follow, and the final “Although” clause does not lead to a clearly structured conclusion. Use separate paragraphs for each purpose and shorter, more clearly connected sentences to make the letter easier to navigate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant workplace and insurance vocabulary, including “underwriting department,” “insurance,” “policies,” and “present position,” so the topic is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “present destination,” “make policies,” and “judge my abilities.” Repetition of “company,” “learned,” and “department” also limits variety. Choose more precise collocations, for example, “current role,” “prepare insurance policies,” and “assess my abilities.” The phrase “benefits that are provided by this company” could be expressed more concisely as “the benefits the company offers.” These improvements would make your meaning clearer and your tone more suitable for a formal workplace letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses such as “because” and “Although,” but the response relies heavily on long sentences, and these complex attempts are often difficult to control. For example, the opening sentence beginning “Hi I am a employer” combines several ideas without clear sentence boundaries, while “benefits that are provided by this company is” has a subject–verb agreement problem. There are also issues with articles and verb forms, as in “a employer” and “I never think to quit.” Punctuation is frequently missing, which makes sentence boundaries unclear. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them with controlled subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles, and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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