Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr Koel,

I am writing to formally request a transfer from my current job role of Customer Service department to the Marketing Management team, as I believe this transition is essential for my ongoing career development in this Company.

Having spent the past two years in this company in my current role,I gained great knowledge of marketing skills. It also helps me tackle difficult situations with customers and improved my communication skills as well. Moreover, I gained a great knowledge about the customers' needs and how to built up relations with other companies So that our Company's reputation in the Market will be better.

Additionally, If I get a chance to handle the Marketing Management role, I will did a great inclination in the shares, which could help in making our company more bigger and better. Furthermore, the communication skills that I learned will help me deal with new customers as well as crack international deals. As I work here from long time, I have a great connection with everyone in the company, and it feels like home to me, so I do not want to leave this job.

Thank you for considering my request. I would be very grateful if I could get the opportunity to be transferred to another department.

Yours faithfully,

Ravneet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points and make your purpose clear from the opening: you want to transfer to Marketing Management for career development. You describe learning about customer needs, communication and handling difficult situations, and explain that your relationships with colleagues make the company feel like home. The proposed benefits—using customer knowledge and communication skills to attract customers and pursue international deals—are relevant, so the response fully covers the task at a basic level. However, the benefit to the company is not always clear or credible: “a great inclination in the shares” is difficult to interpret, and the claim that the move will make the company “more bigger and better” needs specific support. Develop this point with a concrete example of how your customer-service experience could inform marketing work.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall sequence: it states the request, gives background about what you have learned, explains potential benefits, and closes politely. Paragraphing helps distinguish the main stages, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Additionally,” and “Furthermore” show how ideas relate. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with several transitions added where the relationship between points is not fully explained. The second paragraph combines customer-service learning, marketing knowledge and company reputation, while the next moves quickly from shares to international deals and then personal attachment. Group related ideas more carefully and explain the link between your experience and each proposed benefit. Also use consistent capitalisation and spacing after punctuation to make the letter easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for a formal workplace request, including “formally request a transfer,” “career development,” “communication skills,” and “international deals.” These choices make your purpose and several supporting ideas clear. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, which limits precision: “a great inclination in the shares” does not convey a clear business benefit, and “more bigger and better” is not natural phrasing. “Gained great knowledge of marketing skills” also overstates what the sentence explains; specify the knowledge or skills you actually acquired. Aim for precise workplace language, such as describing how customer feedback could help shape campaigns or improve customer engagement. Check capitalisation of common nouns such as “company” and “market.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a purpose clause in “as I believe this transition is essential” and a conditional sentence beginning “If I get a chance.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some errors in verb forms, tense and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “I will did” should use a consistent future form, and “how to built up relations” needs the base form after “to.” In “I gained great knowledge … It also helps me,” the tense shifts without a clear reason. There are also punctuation and spacing issues, such as the missing space after “role,” and the capitalised “So” mid-sentence. Review verb patterns and keep tense choices consistent when describing past learning and future contributions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.