Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I am your company employee which work at production department. I am writing this letter to request for changing my department from production to IT cell.

In your present job I learned about production. As per demand how we controlled the raw materials or how to gonna managed the staff and their work. Moreover, it also improve my efficiency and effectiveness. Also, company got ordered from another company, my department and I managed everything and completed the order on time.

Furthermore, It been 2 year I worked in this department, Now , I move to IT cell because my background was from IT and I had a degree in Computer science. As, our company also need a technician for IT department. Last month I got an offer from another company but I rejected that because the environment of this company so calm and management helps in everything. This was the reason I do not want to leave the company.

I hope you gonna understand my problem and looking forward to that.

Yours Faithfully

Navjot

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you describe learning about production and staff management, explain that your IT background could meet a company need, and give reasons for staying, including the supportive management and work environment. The request to move departments is also clear. However, some points are less fully developed than others. For example, the benefit to the company is mainly that it needs an IT technician; explain more specifically how your computer science degree and production experience would help the IT team or the wider business. The learning point is relevant but could include a concrete skill or achievement. A more polished, appropriately formal closing would also make the letter feel complete and purposeful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a generally understandable sequence: you introduce your request, describe your current role, then explain the proposed move and why you want to remain with the company. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and connectors such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” show relationships between ideas. However, some links feel mechanical or unclear, particularly the shift from your experience to the IT vacancy, and “I hope you gonna understand my problem and looking forward to that” does not clearly state what response you expect. The repeated use of “Also” and “Moreover” could be replaced with more precise links. Organise the body around the three task points and use clear references to connect each explanation to your request.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough relevant vocabulary to communicate the main message, including “production department,” “raw materials,” “efficiency,” “degree in Computer science,” and “technician.” These terms help identify your experience and the department you want to join. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural or imprecise, such as “got ordered,” “controlled the raw materials,” and “the environment of this company so calm.” “Problem” also presents your request as a difficulty rather than a career-development proposal. Aim for more precise workplace language and check common collocations. For instance, describe managing materials, fulfilling an order, and valuing the company’s supportive working environment.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the reader can generally understand your request and reasons. Some grammatical errors, however, affect clarity and control. Examples include “I am your company employee which work,” “It been 2 year I worked,” and “I hope you gonna understand,” where sentence structure, verb forms, and agreement need correction. The sentence beginning “As per demand how we controlled…” is also difficult to follow because it lacks a clear main clause. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, as in “Now , I move” and “It been.” Practise accurate past-tense descriptions of your experience and use complete clauses; for example, “Over the past two years, I have learned how to manage raw materials and coordinate staff.”

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